pregnancy the second time around

In case you missed my thanksgiving post, I'm pregnant. Approximately 10 weeks along, with an estimated date of arrival sometime the end of June or early July. I find that this time around I am much less attached to the due date. With Asher I always knew exactly how many weeks and days I was based on that eventful "first day of last period" and the corresponding "due date". This time I'm more vague about it all because I realize more strongly how much of a guess it is. And since in Utah you have to be 37 weeks to have a home birth (more on that later) and I am prone to early delivery, my due date may be fudged a bit to give me a few days buffer zone.

Being pregnant this time has definitely been harder. I've felt more sick although I still haven't thrown up, so that's a plus. I have definitely had days where I wished I would if it would make me feel better. Tonight has been one of those days. The nausea also started a lot earlier than with Asher. I started feeling a bit queasy the day I missed my period. With Asher it didn't start until about 8 weeks. The biggest problem this time around is that most foods sound totally gross to me. But if I don't eat I feel more sick, so it becomes a vicious cycle. A few weeks ago I spent a couple hours making my yummy veggie enchiladas, only to take one bite and not be able to stomach any more. I'm a little chagrined to say that I actually begged Jared to go get me Wendy's and nearly cried I as so happy when he brought it home, frosty and all. It was delicious. How cliche am I?

I also embarrassed myself at the temple on Friday when I nearly fainted in front of a large room of people. Never had that happen before. Something about kneeling nearly did me in. Fortunately, the temple workers are dears and brought me some water and crackers.

Of course, even with all the first trimester woes, I am very happy to be expecting another little one. I know in a few more weeks I'll feel much better and the memory of these sick days will once again fade. I had my first visit with my amazing midwife Rebecca on Wednesday. Did all the paperwork and bloodwork and got to see our tiny little baby on the ultrasound machine. The baby's back was to us so it didn't look like much, but we saw that heartbeat fluttering away--a very wonderful sight indeed!

Asher of course has no idea what's going on. I am excited to see how he reacts to my growing belly and to see his understanding grow in the coming months. I am still nursing him and plan on doing so as long as I can. I did have more nipple soreness the first few weeks, but its actually gotten better recently. My supply has decreased somewhat but Asher is still definitely getting milk. I've just noticed that he is also eating a lot more solid food these days.

Everything does still feel a bit surreal. I will be really happy to get past the first trimester and hopefully start feeling better with more energy. I really enjoyed being pregnant with Asher. I hope I feel the same way this time around.