the dreaded 'm' word

Today is deliciously cool. The pouring rain, thunder, lightning, and even some hail woke us up early this morning. I relished in the cool air coming in our window and snuggled up close to Jared. Miriam slept peacefully on my other side. I also relished in the fact that my entire body wasn't aching. I didn't have a fever. My breast didn't feel on fire when I touched it. A much more pleasant awakening than I experienced two days ago.

Saturday morning I woke up in a feverish aching chill. My whole body hurt. I was cold and then hot. My right breast hurt when I nursed. I feared I had finally encountered something I'd heard nightmare stories about from friends but had never experienced myself in more than two years of breastfeeding--mastitis. I went into the bathroom and turned on the light to see if my breast was red. It wasn't. I took some ibuprofen and went back to bed. When I woke up I felt better but I knew it was just the ibuprofen at work. I was very tired though. I took a nap but woke up and showered for a lunch out with some friends that was already planned. When I got out of the shower I saw that my right breast was indeed red now. Sigh.

I made it through the lunch but pretty much collapsed soon after getting home. I put a warm compress on my breast. The medication had worn off and I was back to feeling feverish and aching. I slept on and off all afternoon. I could barely wake up to eat dinner. And only ate a few bites. I couldn't remember ever feeling so terrible. At 9 pm I took some more ibuprofen so that I could sleep restfully.

Sunday I woke up feeling much better. Jared's cousin who just got home from his mission was speaking in Church so Jared really wanted to go. We went and although not 100% I felt quite good. When we got home I rested and did more hot and cold compresses. Jared ran to the store and got some cabbage and garlic and tea. I swallowed as much raw garlic as I could handle, hung out with cabbage leaves and an ice pack on my breast, and drank echinacea tea. And of course nursing as much as possible. I'm doing more of the same today and resting as much as I can. I'm going to go take a hot shower now while the babies are sleeping.

Mastitis is not fun at all. I'm so grateful I haven't had to suffer from it before and that I seem to be healing rather quickly without antibiotics. (kellymom.com has good info on non-antibiotic treatment) I really didn't want to have to take antibiotics because they make it much easier to get thrush which is a beast to get rid of. I guess this is just my body telling me to rest up a bit more. It's hard to remember that when there is always so much to be done. I don't think I always realize how draining it is to be nursing two little ones. They require a lot of me. Just ask my husband. There's not a whole lot left for him these days.

But doesn't this face make it all worth it?

nursing a toddler while pregnant

Disclaimer: This post is about my history of breastfeeding my son and what has worked for us. I am not making judgments on how long others choose to breastfeed. Every mama must do what is best for her and her baby. My heart aches for those mothers who want to breastfeed and struggle.

Breastfeeding my monkey baby when he was just a few days old and still in the hospital for jaundice.

I am one of those lucky gals who never really had any issues breastfeeding. Asher latched on right away. My milk came in two days after he was born. I overproduced for months. I never had mastitis. I never had cracked nipples. I was sore at times, especially on my left side, but I've never had the toe curling pain some women complain of having. The only real hiccup we had was when Asher had to stay in the hospital because of high bilirubin. I would go back and forth to breastfeed him and pumped milk for him at night. (Not that he would drink out of the bottle.)

Breastfeeding is something that I never questioned. I always knew I would nurse my babies exclusively. Asher has only had formula once in his life. (When my mom accidentally spilled the pumped milk I left her for Asher while I went to a movie.) He's only drank out of a bottle two or three times. This is what has worked for us. For me nursing is the easiest method of feeding my baby. It's always there. No bottles to prepare or clean. Breast milk is free. Plus, it is of course the best thing for babies--nature's miracle food. Fortunately, I get to be home full time, so the only pumping I did was to keep from getting engorged.

When Asher was born my plan was to breastfeed for at least a year and then do whatever felt right from there. Asher and I have both really enjoyed our nursing relationship, and by the time a year came around I knew we wouldn't be stopping anytime soon. This became even more important to me since we decided to give up most dairy products. I wanted Asher to have the nutrition that breast milk provides. Plus, the thought of forcing him to wean is something I can't fathom. I just really can't imagine turning him away from something that brings him not only nutrition but comfort. Not to mention the immunity boost!

When we were considering the timing of getting pregnant again, I read a lot about breastfeeding while pregnant. I wanted to make sure it was safe, especially given my history of preterm labor. All the research shows that breastfeeding while pregnant is indeed perfectly safe. The only warning given is to those with a history of preterm labor, but there is not necessarily a direct link. For me, the plan has just been to continue to breastfeed as long as I can through the pregnancy unless there is a real reason to stop. So far so good in that regard. Breastfeeding has not triggered any contractions up to now.

Another area of concern is that the mother's milk supply often decreases or even dries up. I have seen my supply decrease--both because as Asher gets older he nurses less and due to pregnancy. I started to really notice a change around the start of the second trimester. I would hardly ever see milk and Asher went down to nursing only 2 or 3 times in 24 hours. The consistency of my milk became much more watery and I could tell it was more sour tasting because the smell changed.

However, just in the past few days I have begun to suspect that I might be producing colostrum already. Asher has been wanting to nurse much more frequently and actually seems to be getting something. The milk is nearly clear though. He's also acting more excited to nurse, which again makes me think he's getting more of something.

Another concern that comes up when nursing during pregnancy is soreness. Most women's breasts become much more tender during pregnancy. Mine have definitely been more sore. And having a toddler who is sometimes lazy about how he latches on and has a mouth full of teeth doesn't help either. The soreness has never been to the point of making me want to wean, but there have been times where I've cut a nursing session short. I don't let him hang out on the breast for as long as he wants. Fortunately, he usually doesn't want to nurse very long anyway since there are so many other things for him to do.

I honestly cannot imagine mothering Asher right now without breastfeeding. I love the chance it gives us to snuggle. I love the closeness. I love how he MUST play with my hair when he's nursing. I love that for those few minutes he's still my baby. I love that it rights all wrongs, cheers him up, and heals all hurts. I love that he's still getting this wonderful nutritious substance every day.

I have no plans on weaning Asher anytime soon. I will let him gradually wean himself. I have a feeling he's going to be really excited once the new baby is born and there is creamy delicious milk again. I am looking forward to seeing my two babies bond at the breast. I hope that it will help ease the transition for Asher and decrease any jealousy that may arise.

I am so grateful that I can give this gift to my children. I'm grateful that we are designed so perfectly to allow us to nourish our babies in this manner. I'm grateful that my body has cooperated and been healthy and able to nurse this long. I'm grateful that I am still enjoying it! I remember I used to think that if a child could ask to nurse, they were too old. Well I certainly don't think that anymore! I truly believe we were designed to nurse our babies into toddlerhood. They receive so much benefit, as do we as mothers.

For more resources:
Kellymom.com
Adventures in Tandem Nursing by Hilary Flower
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding

the quest for the perfect name

Naming a child can be really hard. It's a big responsibility parents have to bestow a name on a baby. The name they will carry throughout their life. I've always loved thinking about baby names, and I love discussing the subject with other moms-to-be. I mean what girl doesn't have a running list of her favorites going from the time she is 5?

I remember for years my favorite boy name was Jackson and my favorite girl name was Stella. But then Jackson and Jack become super popular and trendy. Plus I married a man with the last name Anderson. Two "son"s in one name is too many. I still really like the name Stella, but I now know too many Ella's and Ellie's and the like, so Stella is no longer on my list. One of my requirements is that the name not be trendy. I refuse to use a name that is in on the Top 100.

I chose the name Asher after reading My Name is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok when Jared and I were engaged. Right then and there we decided our first son would be Asher. Super easy. I love that it's biblical but not super common. It has gained in popularity in the last few years, but since it's in the Bible, I don't think it can ever be deemed trendy.

Now we are trying to decide on a name for our baby girl. We have a much harder time with girls names. We don't agree on them as easily. I have spent A LOT of time online looking at names. Although there are lots of names I like, I've been having a hard time feeling like one is the one. I would love to use a Biblical name again and we have two that we really like, but I just can't seem to commit.

I loved that when I was pregnant with Asher, we called him Asher from the day we knew he was a boy. I loved having that extra connection and having him feel like a real little person even before he was born. I would love to name this baby before she comes so I can have that same connection. I'm just not sure I will be able to name her until she is born and I see her.

How did you choose your child(ren)'s names? Do you have a running list of your favorite names for your future children? Did you pick your child's name before they were born? Did you and your spouse have a hard time agreeing on a name? Have any of you had a spiritual experience in naming your child(ren)?

Two really fun baby name websites are Baby Name Wizard and Name Berry.

sling and carrier manufactorers speak out about CPSC warning

Press release in its entirety found here.

Not All Slings Are Created Equally: Baby Sling & Carrier Manufacturers Speak Out On Baby Sling Safety Warning

Dallas, TX (PRWEB) March 11, 2010 -- With the publication of an Associated Press article regarding the CPSC government warning on baby slings and the Consumers Union’s concerns about “bag-style” slings, the companies co-sponsoring this release are taking a stand to help educate the public on the differences between safe vs. unsafe baby slings and carriers as detailed below.

The ancient practice of babywearing made its way into western culture in the 1960s and its popularity with American consumers has grown because of its vast benefits. Unfortunately, this has led to the creation of several potentially unsafe baby slings and carriers. Slings and carriers of concern are popularly categorized under the token term “bag-style” slings. In “bag-style” slings, the deep pouch where baby sits puts the baby in a potentially suffocating curved or “C” like position. Also, excessive fabric with an elasticized edge may cover baby’s face inhibiting breathing. Furthermore, the design may cause the baby’s face to turn in toward a caregiver’s body, potentially smothering the baby.

In contrast, shallow pouch-style slings, ring slings, mei tais and wraps hold baby in proper alignment and they fit snugly by design and instruction. They have been engineered, developed and tested by parents, often the manufacturers themselves with their own children. These carriers are often simple and without gimmicks. Dedicated and concerned manufacturers of these types of safe slings and carriers have sponsored this release.

...

In well-designed products, babywearing is not only safe, but is actually very beneficial when done properly. Studies have shown that quality baby slings and carriers have been shown to save lives, improve health, decrease crying, increase IQ, and facilitate breastfeeding and bonding. For examples of these cases and further reading see “Increased Carrying Reduces Infant Crying: A Randomized Controlled Trial” an article written by Urs A. Hunziker MD and Ronald G. Barr MDCM, FRCP(C), “Saving My Baby” a blog post written on Fierce Mama’s Blog by Sarah Kaganovsky and Dr. Maria Blois’s book Babywearing.

Studies have also shown that worn babies are happier and spend more time in the quiet alert phase. In this phase they benefit more than their non-worn peers in language development and knowledge acquisition. Babywearing also helps babies sleep better, and physical needs, including breastfeeding, are met more quickly by a close, responsive parent. Millions of babies over time have been worn to their benefit making baby slings and carriers more of a necessity than the often-publicized fashion accessory. (Source La Leche League International)

The vast benefits of babywearing should not be disregarded with the report of incidents from “bag-style” slings. The sponsors of this release make safer baby slings and carriers and have been active in the standard writing process and are dedicated to safety through engineering. “We see this as an opportunity to reach out and educate American consumers. We hope to provide valuable information allowing parents and caregivers to not only make informed buying decisions, but also to increase the awareness of how to properly wear children, especially babies, in baby slings and carriers,” says Kristen DeRocha, ASTM Subcommittee Chair. The Associated Press article regarding the CPSC warning gives proof to the growing popularity of baby slings and carriers and validates the need for education.

Several trusted websites exist to aid in the education of babywearing for caregivers and new parents. To name a few: TheBabywearer.com, the Facebook fan page for Babywearing Safety, Mothering.com and LaLecheLeague.org.

This press release was sponsored by:
Hotslings, Maya Wrap, Moby Wrap, Wrapsody, Gypsymama, Together Be, Kangaroo Korner, Taylormade Slings, Scootababy, Bellala Baby, Catbird Baby, SlingEZee, ZoloWear, HAVA, SlingRings and Sakura Bloom

warnings about baby slings...but keep wearing your baby!

UPDATE: Dou-la-la just posted about this. As I suspected, the warnings are due to deaths occurring in bag-style slings. These are not very popular with most parents. Check out her post for more details.

The US Consumer Product Safety Commission came out with a warning today against sling-style baby carriers for newborns. You can read the entire press release below. Apparently, in the past 20 years, 14 infants have died while in slings, 3 in 2009.

Although my heart aches for the parents who lost their babies, I really do not want to see this warning discourage parents from wearing their babies. Babywearing is a great way to bond and keep baby close, while still allowing mom and dad the freedom to go about their day--cooking, playing with older kids, shopping, etc. Asher was always much happier as a little one being worn than in the stroller. Plus, popping your baby in the sling is so much easier than lugging around the infant carseat!

Of course you must wear your baby safely. I think for small infants, the best way to be carried is upright. You obviously want to make sure their face isn't blocked by your body or the carrier. Here is Asher when he was about 2 months old in a sling.

Although we didn't have one when he was a newborn, another great option for tiny babes is wrap style carriers like this one, which I plan on using a lot with the next baby.

The CPSC put together this graphic to show the proper placement of infants in slings (click on it if you can't see it all):

Please keep wearing your babies! Do it safely and smartly, but keep doing it!

The New York Times just did an article on babywearing too. Check it out!



Here is the entire CPSC press release:

WASHINGTON, D.C.- The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) is advising parents and caregivers to be cautious when using infant slings for babies younger than four months of age. In researching incident reports from the past 20 years, CPSC identified and is investigating at least 14 deaths associated with sling-style infant carriers, including three in 2009. Twelve of the deaths involved babies younger than four months of age.

Slings can pose two different types of suffocation hazards to babies. In the first few months of life, babies cannot control their heads because of weak neck muscles. The sling's fabric can press against an infant's nose and mouth, blocking the baby's breathing and rapidly suffocating a baby within a minute or two. Additionally, where a sling keeps the infant in a curled position bending the chin toward the chest, the airways can be restricted, limiting the oxygen supply. The baby will not be able to cry for help and can slowly suffocate.

Many of the babies who died in slings were either a low birth weight twin, were born prematurely, or had breathing issues such as a cold. Therefore, CPSC urges parents of preemies, twins, babies in fragile health and those with low weight to use extra care and consult their pediatricians about using slings.

Two months ago, the Commission added slings to the list of durable infant products that require a mandatory standard. Additionally, CPSC staff is actively investigating these products to determine what additional action may be appropriate. Until a mandatory standard is developed, CPSC is working with ASTM International to quickly complete an effective voluntary standard for infant sling carriers.

CPSC recommends that parents and caregivers make sure the infant's face is not covered and is visible at all times to the sling's wearer. If nursing the baby in a sling, change the baby's position after feeding so the baby's head is facing up and is clear of the sling and the mother's body. Parents and caregivers should be vigilant about frequently checking their baby in a sling.

thinking about baby girls

Baby girls have been on my mind a lot lately since finding out I'm growing one. I can honestly and truly say that I wouldn't have minded at all if this baby had been a boy. I think having two little boys back to back would be just darling. And to be honest when we were thinking about getting pregnant, that is the thought that really made me want to do it. I wanted Asher to have a friend/sibling close in age, and at first I pictured this sibling as a brother.

But pretty much as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I've had the feeling this baby is a girl. As the weeks went by, I had to stop myself from referring to the baby as a "she". I became obsessed with baby girl names. When I was pregnant with Asher, I spent very little time on girls names. We already had the name Asher picked out and I guess I must have had a nudge he would be a boy because I just didn't worry about girl names. And of course, he was and that was that.

Now in the two days that I've known I'm having a daughter, I am getting more and more excited. I am excited for all the things I will get to teach her. I am excited to take her to dance class. I am excited to do her hair. I am really excited to buy her clothes. I am excited to see who she will look like and what she will be like. I am excited she will have Asher as a big brother.

I am looking forward to all the ways having a baby girl will be new and different. I am excited for all the girly things we'll have around. I do have two lovely step-daughters so its not that we are lacking in girls around here, but I've never had a baby girl. A girl who will be truly mine and in whom I'll hopefully see some of myself. Maybe a redhead? Wouldn't that be fun?

I figure it's not too early to start collecting some girly stuff. Tuesday night I had to run an errand (ok, I was picking up Cafe Rio) and had a few minutes to myself, so I stopped into the Earth Goods General Store. I drive by this store all the time and have been wanting to stop in for months but never had. It is delightful. Full of organic, fair trade, eco-friendly stuff. I want to spend more time just perusing all the goods. In the few minutes I had, I managed to find a couple little treasures for our new baby. Wanna see?

A little lovey by Under the Nile made of organic Egyptian cotton.
This is so soft and I hope our girl will love it.

This beautiful hand crocheted hat from Guatemala. This won't fit her for awhile, but Asher sure has been enjoying it. I'll have to get a pic of him in it when he wakes up from his nap.

Now I can't wait to get my hands on some little dresses!

it's a....

Baby Girl!!!

We are so excited! Although we really didn't care whether the baby was a boy or girl, we definitely had been thinking it was a girl. For some reason this entire pregnancy I've just been thinking of this baby as a girl. So has Jared. And my mom. And my siblings. None of us really know why we felt that way but we were right! I am excited to buy girl clothes!

The ultrasound was really fun. For some reason I was really nervous all day about it. Not really sure why. We went to Millcreek Imaging Center here in Salt Lake and I must say they are great. Our technician, Ida, was so sweet. She was also very detailed as she described exactly what she was doing the whole time. I loved that. Our baby girl looks perfect. She has all the parts she's supposed to and was moving all over in there. We got to see her in 3D and 4D and they gave us all the images on a CD which is so nice.

Now we just have to decide on a name...

i have an addiction

My addiction is to baby carriers. I love them. When I was prego I researched all different kinds so that I would just buy one perfect carrier. Yeah, that doesn't exist. Your needs for a carrier change depending on the age and temperament of your baby and the situation. I currently own three different carriers (the Beco, a hotsling, and a traditional Indonesian sling). I use all three on a regular basis. Today, I bought another one--the Moby wrap. It was 50% off from babysteals.com. I couldn't resist. I'm not sure how much I'll use it with Asher (although you can use them up 35 pounds), but I know these are especially great for newborns. I got the white one... which is already sold out! Hurry if you want the blue one... it will probably sell out soon.

Now I just need a ring sling, and I think I may be covered. :-)

guilt-free banana apple oatmeal cookies

I've been getting a little stumped lately on what to feed the Ash Man. He will eat pretty much whatever we give him... a little. But he won't always eat that much of it. He still does subsist mostly on breast milk. He's also decided that he wants to feed himself most of the time. This makes giving him veggies and fruits harder and much, much messier. Sometimes I just want to give him a snack that doesn't require a bath afterward, you know? So I went on the hunt to find a way for him to eat something good and delicious that is also fairly mess free and easy for him to eat. I did a little google search for healthy cookie recipes and found this one. I definitely want to try making it as is sometimes, but I didn't have all the ingredients and it wasn't completely baby friendly anyway. It did give me a starting point though, and I went from there.

Here's what I came up with:

3 ripe bananas
1/4 cup coconut oil (it must be warm so that it will be liquid and mix with the other ingredients)
1 tsp vanilla
2 cups rolled oats
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1 tsp baking powder
2-3 tsp ground flax (We use flax and water all the time for an egg substitute, but this time I just threw some in with the dry ingredients since it's so good for you.)
2-3 tsp cinnamon (I love cinnamon so I dumped a lot in, you could obviously use less if you want)
1/2 tsp salt (just realized I forgot to add the salt, oops, they were still good)
1 small apple, peeled and chopped very small

Mix bananas, oil, and vanilla. In a separate bowl mix dry ingredients. Add dry to wet and mix. Then add apples and mix. The consistency will be wetter and stickier than most cookies--something in between cookie dough and banana bread batter. Spoon onto baking sheet and bake at 350 degrees for 12-15 minutes. I baked mine for 15. Makes about 3 dozen bite size cookies.

I think I will play around it with some more next time around and maybe even try adding sweet potato or carrot. Asher loved them, as you can see in the pics. He ate three in about 20 minutes. I froze the rest so that I would stop eating them. And now I just take one out of the freezer and give it to Asher frozen. He gnaws away and has it eaten in no time. The best part is that they have NO sugar, NO eggs, NO butter. I swear they taste good. Not too sweet and more like banana bread than a typical cookie. If you want you could even leave out the flour or substitute it with non-wheat flour for those with wheat/gluten allergies.

i loves me a sling

I really do. There are so many fun, practical, stylish and down right darling options out there for baby wearing. Sometimes I wish I lived in walking distance of more things so that I had more reason to use the ones I have. I used to always put Asher in my Beco carrier when we went shopping.... and then about 2 months ago he had a fit while he was it in and insisted on sitting in the cart. I was so sad. I felt like he was "growing up" and didn't want to just hang on mommy anymore. Anyway, I digress.

I recently discovered yet another baby sling maker--Mod Mum-- and they are having a little giveaway this month. So go check it out if you are in the market for a sling. They are really cute.

This is my fav:

I don't need it but I want it. Maybe I'll win.

obsessed

note: If you don't like seeing photos of cute babies or are annoyed by mothers' neurotic obsession with their offspring, this post probably isn't for you. Thanks for stopping by!

I freely admit that I am obsessed with Asher's eyes. More specifically his eye color. You see one of the fun things about me and Jared is that we have very different coloring. He has dark hair, brown eyes, and an olive complexion. Whereas I have red hair, blue eyes, and a very fair complexion. So we were excited to see what our baby would look like given that he could pretty much have any eye color or hair color. Now that Asher is here, we are still wondering what hair and eye color he's going to have. Although Asher has a hint of red to his hair in the right light he is by no means a redhead. (This does not stop people from proclaiming him as such however. I want to say to those people, if I didn't have red hair would you ever think this baby has red hair? I guess people see what they want to see.) It's still up in the air whether his hair will go light or dark. He needs to grow more before we'll know the answer to that one.

But as I said, what I am really obsessed with is his eyes. Baby eyes change during the first year of life and I keep going back and forth in my predictions for Asher. At first I thought he'd have brown because his eyes were SO dark when he was born. They were such a dark blue/grey they were almost black. But then they started to lighten up a bit and for quite awhile I called them his navy eyes. See how well they match our navy couch?

October 31

We became pretty convinced that his eyes were going to stay blue. We figured they'd keep lightening a bit and that would be that.

Then a couple weeks ago I noticed a change. Asher started to get some little streaks of brown around his pupil. At first it made his eyes look a bit green. I actually have gold around my pupil making my eyes look green sometimes, so I thought perhaps his eyes would turn out like mine. I got out the trusty camera a took some photos so I could get a real close look at his changing eye color. Click on the photo to see it big and you'll see what I'm talking about.

November 24

Now there is even more brown which makes me think Asher might be on his way to brown eyes, or maybe just some kind of hazel. I used the flash in this one so there'd be less window glare to better see the color. Again click on it to see it bigger.

December 5

Whatever color they end up being one thing we know for sure--this kid is a cutie! I am just so curious to see how they turn out!

Now if you actually read this far, I hope you'll indulge me for one more moment. I'm really curious to hear at what age your babies' eyes settled onto their true color. I'd especially like to hear from those you have brown eyed children. I find this whole change from blue to brown/green/hazel fascinating. Thanks!

lullabies

Have you seen this video yet of Stephanie's Claire and Jane singing? C Jane linked to it today. It is beautiful. And now I have a new lullaby to add to my repertoire.

Here are some more of my favorites (I've linked to youtube videos, some of which are rather random):

Blackbird by the Beatles. I especially like Sarah McLachlan's version.

Sunshine On My Shoulders by John Denver

Summertime from Porgy and Bess. I sang this my senior year of high school for my voice recital. My mom commented that I should sing it to my babies someday. And now I am. Here is a link to Scarlett Johanssen's version.

Listen to the Horses by Raffi. So I've been singing this song for as long as I can remember. However, I didn't realize it was Raffi until just now when I did a search. I'm glad to finally know where it came from! We must have had a tape when I was kid but this was the only song that stayed with me. I call this the "Horsey Lullaby" when I sing to the kids.

Souviens-Toi from the LDS French hymn book. I couldn't find this online anywhere, but it is so beautiful. Jared often sings it to Asher.

Lullaby by the Dixie Chicks. I actually just remembered this song the other day. I need to learn the words so I can sing it to Asher.

What are your favorite lullabies? I'm on the lookout for more.

new slings

How handsome is this little guy? He is so cute I can hardly stand stand it. Love him!

Although he looks quite content to be laying on the bed in the above photo, these moments do not last very long. My child likes to be held pretty much all the time. Even if he's asleep, usually he'll wake up as soon as I lay him down. The solution? Babywearing. So here are the new slings we recently got.

First, this is a Hotsling. I got mine here on sale for just $25, but they usually sell for $30-$80. It is quite easy to use and great because I can pop the baby in and out easily, which makes it nice for around the house or for a quick grocery store trip.

This is how I ate dinner the other night. It's not really how the baby is supposed to be in it, but Asher liked it.

And this sling I purchased from an organization called H.U.G.S. (Help Us Give Slings). It is made in Indonesia and the proceeds go to tsunami and earthquake victims in that area. The fabric is SO beautiful! This is a traditional selendang sling. It is basically just a very large piece of fabric that you just tie on like you see in the second photo.

(Disclaimer: This is me without any makeup after a long walk outside [I used my beco for that], hence the shininess.)

Asher spent the majority of the afternoon in this sling and had a nice long nap.

Later I used it as a blanket and he napped some more.

Again, the fabric is really beautiful and the sling is quite versatile because you can tie it different ways. Plus, you can feel good buying it because it's for a good cause!

notes

Note 1. On Sarah Palin. I like her. She's likable. She did a good job with her speech the other night. Do I agree with all her politics? No. Will she make me vote for McCain? Probably not. But I do like her. And how cute is her baby? It was fun to see her family on the stage with her after her speech.

Note 2. On babywearing. I'm a fan. My baby is very happy when held. I think he gets bored when he's hanging out by himself. Heck, he even gets bored when he's just with me sometimes and I'm not paying enough attention to him or not moving around. And then he thinks he must scream to get my attention. I recently ordered a Hotslings. I'm excited to try it out. I'll let you know what I think.

Note 3. On post-partum check up. I went to the doctor today. Things are good. I'm glad I don't have to go the doctor again for like another year! (barring illnesses or something) Also, glad that my body lost the baby weight without any effort on my part. Good job, body! Before I got pregnant I was convinced I'd probably get huge during pregnancy and have a hard time losing the weight after. How nice that my body has recovered well. Unfortunately, weight loss doesn't equal toned. I have one squishy belly! Nor does it equal the same pants size. My favorite jeans definitely don't fit me yet. Time to start working out again.... sigh.

Note 4. On sleeping baby. Asher is actually asleep in his bassinet! That's a rare occurance around here. How nice it is to be able to type with both hands!

Note 5. On Costco. I love that place. I really love their cheese pizza. Have you tried it? So delish and cheesy and huge! And it has the perfect crust--crispy on the outside and chewy on the inside. Also I love their chocolate/vanilla swirl frozen yogurt. It was especially good when I had it on Tuesday.

Note 6. On smiling babies. Is there anything in life better than a smiling baby? I think not. Mine has been smiling up a storm this week and it melts my heart every time. He even smiled at Dr. S today which was super darling. He's already a charmer.

baby halloween costumes

I got an email from Old Navy advertising their Halloween costumes for babies/toddlers. Oh my goodness, there are some cute ones! I think I may have to get this for Asher because he is definitely our little monkey. Just imagine how cute that would be on a 3 month old.

Here are few more of my favorites.

Penguin

Banana


Skunk
Check out more here.

still here

Hi, friends. I have been quite delinquent these past two weeks about posting. Jared keeps bugging me to post something, but I've been wanting to post photos and have just haven't gotten around to getting them from the camera to the computer and going through them. I promise to do that soon. Asher is so darn adorable. I don't want to deprive you of his cuteness. I have been checking all of your blogs on a semi-regular basis even though I rarely comment. It's just that I usually am feeding the babe during my online browsing and typing one-handed takes forever. Rest assured that I still love you.

Speaking of Asher... at three weeks old he continues to be a really good baby. He only gets fussy for no reason in the evenings and it's pretty easy to calm him down. He just likes being held. And seriously, who can blame him for that? He's been used to being curled up in my tummy so of course he wants to be held close. He also eats like a champ and is now about 9 pounds. Unfortunately, he is still yellow. And we still have that darn bili blanket. Jaundice is very prevalent in my family. My dad even has what's called Gilbert's Syndrome. He gets a little jaundiced when he is sick. My mom's dad has it too, so basically I'm doomed from both sides of my family. I and all my siblings were all jaundiced as babies too. They just make a bigger deal about it these days.

So life is good. My days are filled with lots of nursing, cuddling, and Olympics watching. I've been staying up way too late watching swimming and gymnastics the past two nights. Isn't Michael Phelps incredible?! I love the Olympics.

And now to change the subject... I just read this article on MSNBC called "Celebrity Mamas Fuel Post-baby Blues" It caught my eye for obvious reasons. Basically it talks about how celebrity moms get tons of attention for losing their baby weight super fast and that sets unrealistic expectations for real moms. I totally agree with that. The postpartum body is most certainly not the same. I wonder on a daily basis where my ab muscles have disappeared to and how long it will take the stretch marks to begin fading. But overall I feel fairly good about myself. I can still wear some of my pre-pregnancy clothes. There is something to be said for this being my first baby and being in my 20s. But I certainly will not be sporting a bikini any time soon (ever). I am not in any hurry to begin cutting calories. I need food to make food for my growing boy. I'm going to let my body do it's thing. It grew a healthy baby, got that baby out, and now is the sole means of sustenance for said baby. Isn't that amazing?! I think mothers should celebrate what their bodies are capable of instead of feeling bad about not looking the same as they did before their babies. What do you think? For those of you have had babies, what has your body image been like afterward? Do you feel pressure to get back in shape quickly? Do you pay attention to all the celebrity moms and compare yourself to them?

trying to capture the smile

Asher smiles quite a lot for a babe so young. A lot of these smiles are the dreamy, eyes-closed variety, but he does grin at us while he's awake too. They are just very hard to capture in photo form because they are quite unpredictable. I did manage to get some sorta smiles the other day while he was sleeping. You can kinda see his dimple in the blurry one. These really are just shadows of the big grins he is capable of.

And I have to share this one. How cute is that? Asher sure loves his daddy.

Unfortunately, our little man is still jaundiced and we are still stuck with the annoying bili blanket hoping to get his bilirubin levels down. They still weren't quite low enough on Friday to get rid of the blanket. Say a prayer that we'll hit the magic number on Monday morning. We really want to be free of that thing and want our Ash man to be in the clear.

a few quick pics

Our mellow yellow fellow.

Our little glow worm in his bili blanket

Hangin out with Dad

the birth story

Everyone else is at church and Asher is asleep, so I thought I'd better take the chance to write about the big birthday before I forget all the details.

Last Monday morning I woke up a little after 2 am with contractions. With all the labor I'd had over the previous two weeks, this was the first time contractions had actually woken me up. I went to the bathroom and suspected I was leaking a little amniotic fluid. I got out my ipod and started listening to some Hypnobabies and tried to relax. I didn't wake up Jared until about 4:30. He could tell things were different this time. He filled the tub for me and I spent a while in there. It just kept getting more intense and by 7 we were making plans to head to the hospital. At some point I threw up, which definitely made us think this was the real thing.

We got to the hospital by 8:30 and the same midwife, Deb, we saw when were there 2 weeks earlier was on call which we were happy about. When she checked me I was completely effaced and 6 cm dilated. Asher was at about a zero station then. My water also completely gushed out during the exam. There was definitely no going back now! They quickly got me into a room and let me do my thing. I didn't want to go near the bed. Laying down made everything way worse. I spent some time leaning against the sink or I sat on the edge of the chair. I tried kneeling on the bed a bit too, but I don't think I did that for long. They also brought out a birth ball, but I ended up not really liking that.

I think by about noon I was totally in transition and definitely had some "I can't do this" moments. Jared was so great and just kept reassuring me that I could and that I was in transition and it would be over soon. Man, it was hard! I must admit that in the midst of those contractions that were so bad I threw up, I could understand why people get epidurals. I could even fathom why people have elective ceseareans. (Although now that it's over I know I'd rather go through labor than have to recover from that.) But in the moment when it seems like it's never going to end, I definitely had those thoughts.

At some point I had Deb check me and I was almost at a nine. And then pretty soon after that I started feeling pushy and she checked me again and said I could start pushing. I tried a few different positions on the bed and Deb left me to myself again. I was having a hard time feeling how to push at first, so I went on the sat on the toilet which helped. Then the nurse set up the birthing stool which is hard to explain, but it lets you sit in a squat like position similar to sitting on the toilet. I was there when Deb came back in to help me get things going. She really helped me feel where to push and I felt much more productive after that. She suggested I get on the bed and they set up the squat bar.

Let me try to explain how this worked. The squat bar goes over the end of the bed. You can use it to hold onto and squat on the bed, but I didn't like doing that. What they did is wrap a sheet around the top so that I could hold the ends like reigns. Then I put by feet on the sides and pulled the sheet while I pushed. It really helped me feel how to push to have something to pull back on too.

I pushed that way for quite some time and then the nurses or Jared just held my legs while I pushed. It took 3 hours of pushing to get Asher out. I think everyone was surprised it took so long, most especially me, because Asher was already so low in the birth canal when I started. But that head just didn't want to come out. And I was so exhausted. I had only had 2 hours of sleep so I was really running on empty. Between every contraction I just wished I could sleep. They set up a mirror so I could see the progress of his head coming out. That was cool and it helped me to know I was doing something. But man, I was beginning to think he was never going to come out. The one nice thing about the pushing though is that it didn't really hurt. I thought the worst part was trasition. Pushing was just utterly exhausting. But it was definitely better than transition.

Of course, Asher did make his appearance. He started screaming as soon as his head was out. Jared helped pull him out too which was cool. And I think I may have even had a hold of him before he was completely out. I remember trying to lift him but I couldn't because he was slippery. Jared lifted him to my chest. We let the cord stop pulsing before Deb clamped it and Jared cut it. It was cool to feel the cord while it was still attached. Within probably five minutes Deb had me give one push and the placenta came out. I had no idea placentas were so huge! It was amazing. Deb showed us which side was attached to me and how the sac is attached and where Asher was inside it. It was cool.

I tore just barely and Deb put in one little stitch. She said I had very strong tissues. It seems that because it took so long to get him out, everything got to slowly stretch which may have helped. Deb also used tons of minera oil and helped stretch things while I pushed. Getting that big head out was a team effort!

I held Asher for a long time before they weighed him. The poor kid had quite the misshapen head from being in the birth canal so long. It was all bruised too. When they weighed him someone said he was 8 pounds 3 ounces, but it turns out we was actually 8 pounds even and 20 5/8 inches long. The hospital uses grams officially on records and someone just converted it wrong at first. I was so surprised he was 8 pounds though! I did not think I would have a baby that big, especially one born 2 weeks early! Thank goodness he was early. One of the first things I noticed is that he has really big hands with big meaty fingers. He's always getting his hands in the way when he nurses and the first couple of days he really did a number on his face and chest with his fingernails.

Overall, I feel really good about my birth experience. You can never totally plan for a birth or know what to expect. It was certainly harder than I was expecting. During it all and afterward I couldn't even really believe I was doing it. I'm glad that my birth plan said not to offer me drugs because if the nurse had been pushy, I probably would have taken something. I'm so glad that I was able to do it the way I had planned. I'm also really grateful we had a midwife who was so patient and helpful. She was very encouraging. My nurse was great too. And I am really glad that I used the Hypnobabies program. I can't say I had a "pain free" birth the way some Hypnobabies mom do, but I was definitely able to manage it, and I know it was because of all my preparations. Of course, I could not have done it without Jared either. He had so much faith in me and kept me going.

And now we have our sweet little boy. He is a really good baby so far. I just hope his jaudice clears up so that we can enjoy him without the "billi blanket". We saw the pediatrition yesterday morning and his bilirubin levels were still high so we have to keep him in the blanket as much as possible until we go back to the doctor tomorrow. Fortunately he tolerates it pretty well. And other than being yellow, he's very healthy. He nurses really well and is already on his way back up to his birth weight. He is also already smiling. We haven't been able to capture it in a picture yet, but I swear these are real smiles. He will be totally awake and we'll talk and laugh with him and he'll smile. He has a big dimple in his right cheek that is too cute for words. Right now his hair is brown but it looks like it may go blond. His eyebrows and eyelashes are really blond. It's too soon to tell about his eye color but we think they may go brown. They are really dark blue-grey right now. It's fun to see him change each day and speculate about who he looks like. And every time I look at him I am amazed we was really inside me and even more amazed that I got him out!

I fully plan on writing all about the birth, but right now I'm just gonna do a quick update. I was discharged from the hospital yesterday, but unfortunately Asher is still there. He's very healthy but his bilirubin levels have been high so he's been hanging out under the lights since yesterday afternoon. We hoped he'd be able to go home today but his levels are still high, so we hope, hope, hope he'll be coming home tomorrow.

It is SO hard to leave the hospital without a baby. And what's really hard too is that he has to be in the nursery under the lights, so I only get to be with him to feed him. The only comfort is that he's been sleeping really well. I can hardly get him to wake up to eat. When he does wake up he's been nursing well though, and I certainly have plenty of milk. I've had to start pumping today since I'm producing more than he's eating right now.

So say a little prayer for Asher that the "tanning booth" will do it's trick and he'll be able to come home tomorrow.

And now, since I know what everyone really wants are pictures, here are a few.

This is what he mostly does right now.

Asher snuggling up to Daddy.

Here I am on Tuesday no longer looking like death.
It's amazing what a shower and a bit of makeup can do.

My mom got here Tuesday afternoon.
She's rather squinty but Asher looks so cute here.