amazing hypnobabies home waterbirth--unassisted!

My wonderful Hypnobabies instructor, Liz Phalp, gave birth to her 6th baby back in October. She recently posted the birth story and video to her website, and I just have to share it. I totally teared up watching her quick, easy, peaceful birth. It brought back how I felt when Miriam was born. The awe and peace and ease with which it all happened. Although the specifics are different, our births were very similar--quick labor, kneeling in water, water breaking late, only pushing a few times, catching the baby ourselves, the utter joy felt while lifting a new baby out of the water.

This was not a planned unassisted birth; the midwife (same as mine) just didn't make it in time!

Here is an excerpt from the birth story and the video follows:

I remember feeling excited when I realized that no one else was going to make it. Though I’ve never wanted a planned, unassisted birth, I knew the ones that happen by accident, always seem to happen without incident, and I was really feeling good about things. So with this pressure wave I pushed once and the water broke, I pushed again and his head came out. When I said “there’s his head” Tyson said “are you serious?!” and finally put his phone down, then as I took another breath Tyson said “is he out?” (I’m not sure why he couldn’t see at this point, I guess I was blocking him, I was in a part kneel, part squat), and I said “not yet” then pushed the rest of him out. It was so incredible, feeling his head after the water broke, then seeing his head when I pushed it out, then holding his whole body as it came out. What an incredible way to be totally and completely connected to my baby and my body, and doing it all completely by myself was so incredible! I just really can’t describe how it felt other than completely natural and right! From the minute I stepped in the tub not a single fear or doubt even entered my mind, I was so assured and confident. It was like someone else stepped into my body, someone who had done this hundreds of times. It was so perfect, so amazing, truly such a miracle!

She also named her baby Asher. :-)

Utah Birth Photography by Red Bean Photography

A baby's birth only happens once and nothing compares to those first moments of newness as a child comes into this world.  I will forever treasure the images I have of the births of my two children. I would love to capture the journey of your baby's birth and document the magic as you meet your baby for the first time. 

Now that Miriam is getting older, I am really excited to announce that I am going to start photographing births! My first one is scheduled for next month, and I can't wait. I am super passionate about birth and am honored to be able to capture such an intimate life moment in beautiful photographs. 

I am currently working out several birth photography packages in my new pricing sheet coming soon. Watch my photography blog and site for info. 

If you or someone you know is having a baby this year and would like to have it documented, please contact me at redbeanphoto@gmail.com.  Because my children are so young, I will only be able to schedule one birth a month, so please contact me early to save your spot!

Finding My Inner Feminist, Part 3

Part 1

Part 2

Kasie and Nikolai by Kate Hansen

Feminist and Mother

It could be seen as ironic that that role which is seen as most traditional--mother--is a large part of what has awakened the feminist within me. It isn’t just my religion that has caused me to ponder my role as Woman.

Becoming a mother has changed me more than anything. It is the most profound and transcendent experience of my life. Creating a human being and birthing that human being and feeding that human being from my own body--if that isn’t divine, then I don’t know what is. It is truly filling the measure of my creation.

My passion for birth and breastfeeding has given me a whole new perspective on women’s issues. It is every woman’s right to birth how, where, and with whom she chooses. It is every woman’s (and baby’s) right to breastfeed where and when she chooses. Unfortunately, not all women get this right. And many don’t even realize they should demand it.

Feminists have long fought for a woman’s right to choose. Well, if we have the right to choose whether or not we carry a baby, we sure as hell better have the right to choose how we birth our babies. We most certainly should be able to feed our babies when and how we please.

Women have been conditioned to hand over their power and their bodies to doctors/midwives/nurses during labor and birth. We often passively lie there as we are told what to do and how we will have our baby. We allow medical personnel to touch us in ways that could be considered assault. In fact, some women even experience Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after giving birth because of the way they were treated.  This kind of treatment of women who are in a very vulnerable position is abhorrent. We must demand better.

These rights regarding birth and breastfeeding are issues that all feminists should care about, all women should care about. These issues are at the heart of womanhood. Whether a woman chooses to have children or not, she should still care how other women are treated and the choices they are given when birthing and feeding their children.

As anyone who knows me or who reads this blog knows, I feel very passionate about these issues. I hope more and more women, feminist or not, stand up together and claim these rights.

home birth poem

Home Birth
by Jared Anderson

She strains,

Lovingly labors

Not only to bring life

Into the world

But also against all those

Who say

“It is simply not done”

Awakening

Vestigial memory

Of how it has always been.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jared wrote this little poem Sunday night after we came home from visiting our friends Amy and Clay who just had their second baby at home-- a successful VBAC. We both had issues (she a previous cesarean, me a breech baby) that in many circumstances would have resulted in c-sections, but we both had normal, beautiful home births without complication.  I love how succinctly Jared captured the spirit of those of us who choose to birth at home and what we must often work against to do so.

daddy's side of the (birth) story

I always think its fun to hear birth stories from the Dad's point of view. I'm so glad Jared took the time to write this down in his journal on Miriam's birthday. I thought I'd share. You can read my version of the birth here. 
 

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

9:11pm

Happy Birthday Miriam Dawn! I cannot *believe* that she is really here! She is such a sweet, petite and precious little thing. It is such a miracle that one day a woman is pregnant and then suddenly there is a new person in the world! What a miracle. And such a RELIEF that everything went so perfectly! This pregnancy and birth has made of me a passionate advocate for natural home birth. Having Miriam born at home was a sublime, intimate experience. It was reverent and peaceful--everything that we could have asked for. But I shall back up a bit. 

Katrina, Asher and I arrived at the midwife shortly before 9, and Rebecca stripped her membranes and gave her antibiotics [for Group B Strep]. Asher was really great, playing with several cars (and hitting them with the toy golf clubs). Rebecca also gave Katrina black and blue cohosh, which gets things in order and stimulates contractions. We ran to Costco and ShopKo. I was feeling excited but also anxious to get HOME so we could get things in order. We got home, and the girls and I finished cleaning and set up the tub. The labor was quite intense, and Katrina very quickly got to the point where she needed to use her Hypnobabies to manage her contractions, and she could not talk during them. We got home a little after 11. Rebecca got here around 1:45ish, took a look at Katrina and said "that is a woman who is going to have a baby. You can fill the tub the rest of the way." As soon as she got in the tub she felt instant relief. I called Anne [the older kids' grandma] and arranged to have the girls picked up and was calling around to get Asher taken care of when he got up from his nap. Unfortunately I had put some birthing materials in Asher's closet, so woke him up. He probably would have slept through the entire birth otherwise!

I could tell by the sounds Katrina was making that the labor was really intense--she was kind of making this singing/moaning sound through her contractions. I ran Asher over to Kristen Johnson's, got back as soon as I could (though I should have driven instead of walked!). When I walked back in the door, Rebecca shouted out, "Jared come over here you are going to miss it!" I went over to the tub and saw a little body hanging out, from about the upper abdomen down. It happened REALLY fast, but I saw her wiggle around. One arm came out, then the other, and then her head came out. Chris, who had come only about 10 minutes before, described things as she saw them through her more experienced eyes. She said that Miriam maneuvered around to get her arms out, then did a little kick so her head would clear the pubic bone. I was very impressed by how ideal water birth is (it functions as everything--temperature control, lubricant, pain relief, cleaner, assists with positions, etc).

Miriam is crying, that incomparable little newborn cry.

I was also impressed by how well babies really do know how to be born. I saw how still she held when only her lower body was out, and she moved in just the right ways.

Miriam is small, but so beautiful... she was 6 pounds 10 ounces. I am so glad she had every single day she did in the womb! She was pretty purple at first but pinked up beautifully quite quickly.

It is difficult to adequately express how peaceful and joyful the birth was. It was so wonderful to be HOME, to be in our own space. We could tell that Rebecca was really enjoying it here. She had NEVER seen a home breech birth! It has been six years since she saw a breech at all. She said she has felt so calm about the birth, though she studied up a bunch! [This is why we had the other midwife there who was very experienced with breech births.]

It is such a RELIEF to have this birth behind us, just because of the concerns... but everything went so beautifully we didn't need to worry at all. There is precious little we would have changed... it would have been awesome to get the home breech birth on video, since it is so rare, and I wish I had been there for the entire birth!

An interesting random note.. Even this morning I could tell Katrina was really in labor because her breath smelled the exact same way it did when Asher was born!

Wow, what a day. That was one of the peak experiences of my life. Chris, the other midwife, was really great. She didn't even really need to do anything. But she is a interesting mix of laid back (doesn't really do medical notes etc) and just a powerhouse, competent personality. And this birth was a total bonding experience with Rebecca.

I guess I am running out of words, but I feel deeply, deeply happy and grateful. So grateful that Katrina and Miriam are doing so well. Katrina exclaimed how good she felt after the birth, like she didn't even have a baby today. She did not tear at all (just one "skid" mark), and her bleeding didn't need any intervention. And Miriam's little features are so perfect. Her bottom is a bit purple and swollen, but not bad at all.

The kids were really sweet about meeting their baby sister. Asher handled it really well; he was excited and didn't seem weirded out. Grace called, mostly to ask if Miriam had red hair! Olivia asked if she could come over, and was in tears when I suggested she wait until her mom could bring all of them over. Then Olivia said "My legs hurt because I rode over here SO fast on my scooter!" And Isaac said Miriam was his early birthday present and was really happy.

I can't believe it... what a wonderful day. Ok, now to finish up what I need to do--diapers and put food away and such.

Oh, the pizza guy showed up at our door and we were a bit confused. We were like, "is it paid for?" Katrina's grandma bought us pizza, which was really sweet.

The Story of Miriam's Breech Home Birth

*Updated with photos and more background info*

Disclaimer: There are photos of me without clothes on, including one where you see my bottom (I am kneeling) when Miriam was being born. I decided to post it because its so rare to see breech births. I'm still bummed we didn't get the birth on video.  

You can read Jared's version of Miriam's birth here. 

I had a very uneventful pregnancy this time until the third trimester. I felt great, and with the exception of some round ligament pain, never even got that uncomfortable. However, Baby Miriam decided we needed some more drama in our lives when she turned breech around the start of the third trimester and stubbornly refused to go head down. We spent weeks trying all the normal tricks--breech tilt, inversion, chiropractor, acupuncture, massage, Turn Your Breech Baby Hypnobabies cd, music, ice, flashlight, headstands, homeopathics, and of course lots and lots of prayers.

Finally, when I was almost 38 weeks my midwife referred me to an OB for a version. I had an ultrasound done first where it was discovered that my amniotic fluid levels were quite low. Too low to attempt a version, and low enough to cause concern that something else could be wrong. The OB said that most of his colleagues would recommend I get a c-section that night since my baby was full term and breech. He realized that was obviously something we wanted to avoid, so he recommended a non-stress test to see how the baby was doing first. Fortunately, my midwife could do this at her office, so we didn't have to stay in the hospital. Baby was doing great so the orders were to "hydrate like hell" and hope to get my fluids up enough to attempt the version in a couple days. I drank liters and liters of water but when I went back for another ultrasound my fluid levels were barely higher. A version was no longer an option. Time to prepare for plan B.

We did another non-stress test (baby still doing great) and talked things over with our midwife. Here in Utah it is illegal for liscensed midwives to attend breech births at home. This meant our wonderful midwife, Rebecca, could not attend our birth alone. So she contacted a very experienced and well respected lay midwife in our area and asked her if she'd be willing to come to our birth. Chris agreed to come. We decided it was probably best for Miriam to come pretty soon since my fluid levels were so low. We decided to give her a few more days but made plans to encourage things along the following Wednesday. We continued to do non stress tests every other day, which Miriam always passed with flying colors.

Wednesday came and that morning Rebecca stripped my membranes and gave me cohosh in the hopes of getting labor started. I'm not usually a fan of even these types of intervention but with my low fluid levels and a breech baby we thought it was best to encourage things along. We did another nonstress test that morning too and she was happy as always. When Rebecca stripped my membranes I was 4 cm dilated and 50% effaced with a bulging bag of waters quite low. Not a bad start.

We left Rebecca's office just before 10 and headed to Costco to get a few last minute things. I started having a few mild cramps. By the time we left Costco they had picked up a bit. We stopped at one more store to get diapers and pads and then headed home. It was just after 11 when we got home. I was having mild and crampy waves pretty close together but still didn't know if they would go anywhere. I had several things I wanted to get done around the house and thought I would have plenty of time. I got on the computer to do a quick post on my blog. By the time I was done with that I was having to really concentrate on the waves to relax. They were getting more intense and were VERY close together. Rebecca called around noon and said that was the cohosh at work. 

I laid on my bed and listened to some Hypnobabies. I was actually getting a bit frustrated because despite my best efforts the waves were still somewhat uncomfortable. They were just so close together I hardly got a chance to regroup between them. Time gets a little fuzzy from here on out, but I spent a few waves on the toilet and then on the floor of the bathroom on my hands and knees. Then I went back to my bed. Rebecca called again and said she would come right over as soon as her last appointment left. I was back in the bathroom when she got to our house about 1:45. She checked me and I was 7 cm and 80% effaced. And bless her she said I could get in the birth pool!

I was so happy to be in the water. It really helped me relax more. The waves had spaced out a tiny bit so I was getting a bit more of a break between them, but they were also getting super intense. I knelt and leaned against the side of the pool and started vocalizing through them. In the mean time, Jared was working out arrangements for Asher who had just woken up from his nap, and we were still waiting on Chris, the other midwife to get there. Right around when she arrived I started feeling pushy and felt a pop--my water broke. This is also about the time Jared left to take Asher around the corner to a friend's house. I started pushing involuntarily and pretty soon her bottom was out and then her legs. And Jared wasn't back yet! Rebecca ran out the door to see if she could catch him but didn't see him. He got back when Miriam was half way out. Chris told me to reach down and touch her so I was rubbing her back before her head was out. She got still for a moment while she got her arms out and then I pushed again and her head came right out super easy.  I just lifted her between my legs and turned around. No one else even touched her. I think the whole pushing phase was less than 5 minutes. (Unfortunately, it was so fast that we didn't get a chance to get out the video camera. I really wanted to get the birth on video since a breech homebirth is so unusual. That is my only regret for the day.)

She was born at 2:41 pm. So I had roughly 3 to 3 1/2 hours of active labor. I think because of the cohosh and membrane stripping, everything was more intense. My waves were always super close together. It was definitely a fast ride. But I remained very calm and peaceful during the whole thing. Thank you, Hypnobabies! 

When I lifted Miriam out of the water her eyes were wide open and she was quiet. My first thought was that her eyes were huge and she looked so different than Asher did right after he was born. (He was all swollen and bruised.) I rubbed her back and we put a towel on her and she started pinking up and making some noise. We hung out in the water until the cord stopped pulsing and then Rebecca clamped it and Jared cut it. Jared took Miriam and held her skin to skin while I got out of the water and went over to the couch. I wasn't even bleeding that much thank goodness. A few minutes later I pushed out the placenta. We just hung out on the couch and Miriam eventually started nursing while Rebecca and Chris cleaned up and then checked me out. I didn't tear! I just have a little "skid mark" that will heal up fine. I'm not even sore. I only used one ice pack that day and have felt fine since. Much different than how I felt after Asher when it seemed like my bottom wasn't even attached to by body anymore! Three hours of pushing can do that I guess!

My grandma thoughtfully had some pizza sent to our house so that's what we ate for a late lunch. Then I had to go pee so Rebecca helped me up and I got all cleaned and padded up. I seriously felt SO good. I didn't feel like I had just had a baby. I put on some clothes and then we weighed and measured Miriam. 6 pounds 10 ounces, 19 1/2 inches long, 13 inch head. Absolutely perfect.

This birth was pretty much exactly as I had been visualizing it my entire pregnancy. The only difference is that it was faster and she was breech. I really wanted to go into labor in the morning after a good night's sleep and then have her in the afternoon sometime. I imagined being in the water, kneeling and catching her myself. That is exactly what I did. Although labor was very fast and intense, I was always calm and never afraid. I always felt really peaceful about everything. Pushing was SO easy and painless and she came right out fast and perfectly.

I feel like the stars really aligned to give us the perfect peaceful home birth we had prepared for. I will be forever grateful to Rebecca for her confidence in us and the birth process. And also to Chris for agreeing to come so that we could have the birth at home. She was so calming and assuring as I pushed out Miriam. I'm still amazed at how easy and beautiful this birth was when probably 99.9% of people in our situation would have had a c-section. I feel so blessed that I had this experience.

And let me also add that being at home right after is SO great! I've loved it. I hope I never have to birth in a hospital again!

Miriam is doing great. She's a little jaundiced but not enough to worry about. We've just been letting her sunbathe a lot. She's very alert and smiley already. She has huge eyes and the sweetest little mouth. We of course think she's gorgeous. She's like a little pixie. All her newborn clothes are still huge on her. She does look like Asher but she also just looks like herself. She's very girlie looking with long slender fingers and toes. We are all smitten with her. Asher is adjusting fairly well. He's really gentle with her but he's also having to get used to sharing Mommy. I took some really cute pictures of the two of them today that I'll get posted soon. My mom is here with us and we are all just enjoying having a tiny baby around again. Life is good.

Here's a slideshow of more photos from the birth:

asher's birth story at progressive pioneer

My friend Amy has been posting natural birth stories on her blog during her pregnancy. Today you'll find the story of Asher's birth. I'm really grateful for how well Asher's birth went, but I am SO SO SO excited to be giving birth this time outside of the hospital. I am really looking forward to being home where I'll be able to stay in my groove more easily and won't have strangers bugging me. Just gotta get this girl head down!

And a quick note on my breastfeeding project... I've set up a blog to display the photos. I'm just waiting to hear back from the moms I've photographed because I want to include a little quote from each of them about their thoughts on breastfeeding. Hopefully, I'll be able to share the photos I've done so far with everyone soon!

planning

Me and Asher moments after he finally made his appearance.
Can you see the relief and exhaustion on my face?

Before I even begin this post let me just state for the record that I am NOT currently pregnant, nor are we trying to become so in the near future.

Now that we have that out of the way I can talk about my day today. I went to visit a midwife. For some reason as Asher's first birthday approaches, I find myself thinking more and more about when and how I will have my next baby. A couple weeks ago my friend Danielle and I spent the majority of an hour's phone conversation on the general topic of childbirth, etc. Her baby is now 14 months old and mine is 11 months, so we've both been asked lately when the next one might come along. Every time someone asks me that I think or say, "I have a baby. I don't need another one yet."

And yet... I must confess that I have started to plan for the next one. And I find myself coming around to the idea of having another sooner than I thought I would. Of course, moving to a new state means finding new care providers, and when I happened to hear about this midwife Rebecca, I decided to contact her. For some reason when I heard about her a very strong feeling came over me that she would be the one to help me birth my next baby. She has a lovely little birth suite/office about 15 minutes from my house. Today I got to meet her and tour her facility. We chatted for over an hour, and I just think she is terrific. She has tons of experience. She was a labor and delivery nurse before becoming a Certified Nurse Midwife. She has an impeccable record. And she just has a great vibe. She padded around her office in barefeet and was wonderful with Asher.

With Asher I had a midwife delivery in a hospital. As far as hospital births go, it was about as good as it can get. Per my request I was never offered drugs and had a completely drug free delivery with no complications. You can read my complete birth story here if you like. The midwife who delivered Asher was AMAZING! She stuck with me through three long hours of pushing and was never anything but encouraging.

Unfortunately, most hospitals are not very natural birth friendly. Women often can't move around freely and are pressured into getting epidurals, etc. Most of the time women are rushed through, which often leads to cesareans. I feel strongly that had I had a physician attending my birth, I could very well have ended up with a forceps or vacuum delivery or even a cesarean because I was pushing for so long.

Now that I know I can birth naturally, I really want to have an out of hospital birth. As long as I can go full term (37 weeks) than I plan to birth my next baby either at a birth center or at home. With Rebecca, I can do either. I am currently leaning toward the birth center, but I will definitely consider doing it at home. We live quite close to several hospitals, should a transfer be necessary.

Birth is such an amazing, life altering experience. It is impossible to fully comprehend until you experience it yourself. I really do love the whole process of pregnancy and birth. I love knowing that my body is capable of creating a life.

Is it totally weird that I actually miss being pregnant?

So now I have a question for all you mamas out there.... when and how did you know that it was time to have your first or another baby? Did you plan the spacing of your kids well in advance? Did you just let nature do its thing? Were you surprised to find that your plans changed somewhere in the middle? Once decided, did getting pregnant take longer or shorter than you planned? I know this is an extremely personal topic, but I am just curious as to what that process is like for different people. So I'd love to hear your thoughts if you are willing to share.

EDITED TO ADD: I'm loving all the comments on this! I just want to clarify that although I have chosen drug-free birth with a midwife and will probably birth my next baby out of the hospital, I don't think this is necessarily the right choice for everyone. What I feel most passionate about is CHOICE. We as women and mothers MUST educate ourselves and then make the best choice for US. If that means an epidural in the hospital, great. If that means a waterbirth at home, great. What frustrates me is that so often women don't realize what they are getting into and end up with a bad experience. I am also frustrated that our current system is so skewed towards medical intervention. I LOVE the approach that most of Europe has, as Missy says in the comments. You have a midwife and then IF there are problems you see a doctor. I hate that here we assume the worst will happen. For many women, epidurals work great. And I think that is awesome. I guess I have just always been afraid of them. And afraid that they won't work for me and then I'm stuck not mentally prepared to deal with the intensity of labor. Having a drug free birth doesn't make me a better mother, but it is a really great accomplishment and something that I am proud of. It was hard mentally and physically and I did it. It's good to know we can do hard things.

the birth story

Everyone else is at church and Asher is asleep, so I thought I'd better take the chance to write about the big birthday before I forget all the details.

Last Monday morning I woke up a little after 2 am with contractions. With all the labor I'd had over the previous two weeks, this was the first time contractions had actually woken me up. I went to the bathroom and suspected I was leaking a little amniotic fluid. I got out my ipod and started listening to some Hypnobabies and tried to relax. I didn't wake up Jared until about 4:30. He could tell things were different this time. He filled the tub for me and I spent a while in there. It just kept getting more intense and by 7 we were making plans to head to the hospital. At some point I threw up, which definitely made us think this was the real thing.

We got to the hospital by 8:30 and the same midwife, Deb, we saw when were there 2 weeks earlier was on call which we were happy about. When she checked me I was completely effaced and 6 cm dilated. Asher was at about a zero station then. My water also completely gushed out during the exam. There was definitely no going back now! They quickly got me into a room and let me do my thing. I didn't want to go near the bed. Laying down made everything way worse. I spent some time leaning against the sink or I sat on the edge of the chair. I tried kneeling on the bed a bit too, but I don't think I did that for long. They also brought out a birth ball, but I ended up not really liking that.

I think by about noon I was totally in transition and definitely had some "I can't do this" moments. Jared was so great and just kept reassuring me that I could and that I was in transition and it would be over soon. Man, it was hard! I must admit that in the midst of those contractions that were so bad I threw up, I could understand why people get epidurals. I could even fathom why people have elective ceseareans. (Although now that it's over I know I'd rather go through labor than have to recover from that.) But in the moment when it seems like it's never going to end, I definitely had those thoughts.

At some point I had Deb check me and I was almost at a nine. And then pretty soon after that I started feeling pushy and she checked me again and said I could start pushing. I tried a few different positions on the bed and Deb left me to myself again. I was having a hard time feeling how to push at first, so I went on the sat on the toilet which helped. Then the nurse set up the birthing stool which is hard to explain, but it lets you sit in a squat like position similar to sitting on the toilet. I was there when Deb came back in to help me get things going. She really helped me feel where to push and I felt much more productive after that. She suggested I get on the bed and they set up the squat bar.

Let me try to explain how this worked. The squat bar goes over the end of the bed. You can use it to hold onto and squat on the bed, but I didn't like doing that. What they did is wrap a sheet around the top so that I could hold the ends like reigns. Then I put by feet on the sides and pulled the sheet while I pushed. It really helped me feel how to push to have something to pull back on too.

I pushed that way for quite some time and then the nurses or Jared just held my legs while I pushed. It took 3 hours of pushing to get Asher out. I think everyone was surprised it took so long, most especially me, because Asher was already so low in the birth canal when I started. But that head just didn't want to come out. And I was so exhausted. I had only had 2 hours of sleep so I was really running on empty. Between every contraction I just wished I could sleep. They set up a mirror so I could see the progress of his head coming out. That was cool and it helped me to know I was doing something. But man, I was beginning to think he was never going to come out. The one nice thing about the pushing though is that it didn't really hurt. I thought the worst part was trasition. Pushing was just utterly exhausting. But it was definitely better than transition.

Of course, Asher did make his appearance. He started screaming as soon as his head was out. Jared helped pull him out too which was cool. And I think I may have even had a hold of him before he was completely out. I remember trying to lift him but I couldn't because he was slippery. Jared lifted him to my chest. We let the cord stop pulsing before Deb clamped it and Jared cut it. It was cool to feel the cord while it was still attached. Within probably five minutes Deb had me give one push and the placenta came out. I had no idea placentas were so huge! It was amazing. Deb showed us which side was attached to me and how the sac is attached and where Asher was inside it. It was cool.

I tore just barely and Deb put in one little stitch. She said I had very strong tissues. It seems that because it took so long to get him out, everything got to slowly stretch which may have helped. Deb also used tons of minera oil and helped stretch things while I pushed. Getting that big head out was a team effort!

I held Asher for a long time before they weighed him. The poor kid had quite the misshapen head from being in the birth canal so long. It was all bruised too. When they weighed him someone said he was 8 pounds 3 ounces, but it turns out we was actually 8 pounds even and 20 5/8 inches long. The hospital uses grams officially on records and someone just converted it wrong at first. I was so surprised he was 8 pounds though! I did not think I would have a baby that big, especially one born 2 weeks early! Thank goodness he was early. One of the first things I noticed is that he has really big hands with big meaty fingers. He's always getting his hands in the way when he nurses and the first couple of days he really did a number on his face and chest with his fingernails.

Overall, I feel really good about my birth experience. You can never totally plan for a birth or know what to expect. It was certainly harder than I was expecting. During it all and afterward I couldn't even really believe I was doing it. I'm glad that my birth plan said not to offer me drugs because if the nurse had been pushy, I probably would have taken something. I'm so glad that I was able to do it the way I had planned. I'm also really grateful we had a midwife who was so patient and helpful. She was very encouraging. My nurse was great too. And I am really glad that I used the Hypnobabies program. I can't say I had a "pain free" birth the way some Hypnobabies mom do, but I was definitely able to manage it, and I know it was because of all my preparations. Of course, I could not have done it without Jared either. He had so much faith in me and kept me going.

And now we have our sweet little boy. He is a really good baby so far. I just hope his jaudice clears up so that we can enjoy him without the "billi blanket". We saw the pediatrition yesterday morning and his bilirubin levels were still high so we have to keep him in the blanket as much as possible until we go back to the doctor tomorrow. Fortunately he tolerates it pretty well. And other than being yellow, he's very healthy. He nurses really well and is already on his way back up to his birth weight. He is also already smiling. We haven't been able to capture it in a picture yet, but I swear these are real smiles. He will be totally awake and we'll talk and laugh with him and he'll smile. He has a big dimple in his right cheek that is too cute for words. Right now his hair is brown but it looks like it may go blond. His eyebrows and eyelashes are really blond. It's too soon to tell about his eye color but we think they may go brown. They are really dark blue-grey right now. It's fun to see him change each day and speculate about who he looks like. And every time I look at him I am amazed we was really inside me and even more amazed that I got him out!