bits of thoughts

Cherry Blossoms in D.C., March 2009

Some things I've been thinking about lately... I will probably expound more on some of this in later posts...this post is mostly just for me to clear my thoughts a bit...

I spent ALL DAY yesterday reading Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol. Its our book club pic this month and I had checked it out from the library but then didn't start it until this weekend. It was due yesterday and I still had 3/4 of it to read, so I read all day to get it done. It wasn't the greatest book and I was really just pushing to get it done, but it did give some cool stuff to think about. Like that thoughts have matter and therefore can exert force. Thus our thoughts have the power to actually CHANGE the physical world. Interesting stuff to contemplate.

I've been thinking how this can apply to preparing for childbirth. I use self hypnosis for childbirth and the main idea of it is that our minds have the power to help our bodies relax and reinterpret the pain of labor so that it is manageable. I've been focusing more this time around on reading only positive birth stories. I've even been trying to limit them mostly to home birth stories since that is what we are planning. I want to keep only that image in my mind of a smooth, healthy delivery at home. I want to remain confident in my body's ability to birth my baby easily and without complication. Fear only leads to more tension which leads to more pain.

..............

I've also been contemplating lately more about the type of person and mother I want to be. I have this image in my mind of who I want to be and the things I want to do, but I'm not always taking the steps to get there. I want to do that more. I want to learn more about natural and herbal medicine. I want to exercise more. I want to increase my spirituality. I want to be more mindful and present. I want to use my time better and be more organized. I want to simplify. I want to grow my own food. I want to bake bread. I want to sew. I want to be an artist and create.

And I want to teach these things to my children. I want our home to be a happy place, full of love and kindness. Full of books and music and art. I want to foster creativity. Now that Asher is getting older I want to start doing art projects with him. I just began reading Young at Art by Susan Striker and am excited to get started on this process. I want to become more of an artist myself. I think all humans have an innate desire to create. I think it is one of our most godly attributes. I want to spend more time creating and making sure my children are encouraged to do that also.

boy in boots

Yesterday Jared was getting ready to go drop off Valentine's for the big kids who were at their mom's house. When Asher saw him heading for the door, he decided he was going to leave too. His plan? Wear Olivia's boots. He tried putting them on himself but of course couldn't quite do it alone, so Daddy assisted. Asher thought it was so great. He even walked around in them which I was impressed by. Is it possible that this kid just keeps getting funnier and more entertaining every day? He has the most darling little personality. We can't gush about him enough.

20 weeks

I almost forgot to take a picture of me before the week was over, so this one was rather hurried. But the belly was documented nonetheless.

I'm halfway done, give or take. I feel like I've been pregnant a long time already, but am now just really feeling pregnant. I'm starting to unquestionably show. My baby's movements are getting bigger and able to be felt with a hand on my belly. Although I can still lay on my stomach, I can now feel my enlarged uterus when I do so. When I think of how much bigger my belly has to grow, it seems like I'll be pregnant forever. And June/July still seems so far away. I am truly enjoying this stage of pregnancy where I am not uncomfortable yet, but am feeling more connected to my growing baby. I really do love being pregnant. It's a miraculous process that brings these little people into the world.

Oh and now when we ask Asher where "baby sister" is he lifts up my shirt and pats my belly. And then often turns around and sits on it. Such a funny kid.

thinking about baby girls

Baby girls have been on my mind a lot lately since finding out I'm growing one. I can honestly and truly say that I wouldn't have minded at all if this baby had been a boy. I think having two little boys back to back would be just darling. And to be honest when we were thinking about getting pregnant, that is the thought that really made me want to do it. I wanted Asher to have a friend/sibling close in age, and at first I pictured this sibling as a brother.

But pretty much as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I've had the feeling this baby is a girl. As the weeks went by, I had to stop myself from referring to the baby as a "she". I became obsessed with baby girl names. When I was pregnant with Asher, I spent very little time on girls names. We already had the name Asher picked out and I guess I must have had a nudge he would be a boy because I just didn't worry about girl names. And of course, he was and that was that.

Now in the two days that I've known I'm having a daughter, I am getting more and more excited. I am excited for all the things I will get to teach her. I am excited to take her to dance class. I am excited to do her hair. I am really excited to buy her clothes. I am excited to see who she will look like and what she will be like. I am excited she will have Asher as a big brother.

I am looking forward to all the ways having a baby girl will be new and different. I am excited for all the girly things we'll have around. I do have two lovely step-daughters so its not that we are lacking in girls around here, but I've never had a baby girl. A girl who will be truly mine and in whom I'll hopefully see some of myself. Maybe a redhead? Wouldn't that be fun?

I figure it's not too early to start collecting some girly stuff. Tuesday night I had to run an errand (ok, I was picking up Cafe Rio) and had a few minutes to myself, so I stopped into the Earth Goods General Store. I drive by this store all the time and have been wanting to stop in for months but never had. It is delightful. Full of organic, fair trade, eco-friendly stuff. I want to spend more time just perusing all the goods. In the few minutes I had, I managed to find a couple little treasures for our new baby. Wanna see?

A little lovey by Under the Nile made of organic Egyptian cotton.
This is so soft and I hope our girl will love it.

This beautiful hand crocheted hat from Guatemala. This won't fit her for awhile, but Asher sure has been enjoying it. I'll have to get a pic of him in it when he wakes up from his nap.

Now I can't wait to get my hands on some little dresses!

it's a....

Baby Girl!!!

We are so excited! Although we really didn't care whether the baby was a boy or girl, we definitely had been thinking it was a girl. For some reason this entire pregnancy I've just been thinking of this baby as a girl. So has Jared. And my mom. And my siblings. None of us really know why we felt that way but we were right! I am excited to buy girl clothes!

The ultrasound was really fun. For some reason I was really nervous all day about it. Not really sure why. We went to Millcreek Imaging Center here in Salt Lake and I must say they are great. Our technician, Ida, was so sweet. She was also very detailed as she described exactly what she was doing the whole time. I loved that. Our baby girl looks perfect. She has all the parts she's supposed to and was moving all over in there. We got to see her in 3D and 4D and they gave us all the images on a CD which is so nice.

Now we just have to decide on a name...

new photos!

With all the pregnancy nausea and then the holidays, its been a few months since I've done a photo session. Saturday I had a lot of fun shooting engagement pictures for my friend Paul and his lovely bride-to-be. Check them out here.

linkity links

I've been trying to spend less time on the computer and more time getting my house more clean and orderly. Today I tackled the HUGE HUGE HUGE mountain of laundry that was taking over my bedroom floor. I often get hung up in the actual putting clothes away stage of doing laundry. It's something I need to work on.

Today I thought I'd share some links to blogs and articles that have caught my eye lately.

The Gift of Giving Life-- A blog with resources for LDS women about birth. Felice is also writing a book on birth for LDS women.

Women in the Scriptures-- A great blog all about women in the scriptures. Heather has also written a couple posts about birth that I LOVE---check out this and this.

The Artful Parent-- A mommy blog with an artful twist. Lots of inspiring ways to foster creativity in children. I want to be more like Jean.

Lady I Swear By All Flowers-- Chelsea has a lovely little blog that is a such a peaceful place to visit.

Domestic Felicity-- I don't remember how I found Anna's blog but its super interesting. She is an Orthodox Jew living in Israel. She blogs a lot about her views of men's and women's roles.

Passionate Homemaking-- A mommy blog with lots of inspiring ways to improve your life.

Adoption is Our Nutshell-- Found via Design Mom, this blog is written by a mom of 5 kids, 6 and under. 4 of her kids are adopted through the foster care system. In reading her blog, I was especially inspired by how she's let the Lord guide and direct her and change her heart.

Misspelled Tattoos-- From Huffington Post, a hilarious photo collection of misspelled tattoos. How does this happen? I mean wouldn't you double and triple check the spelling of such a permanent thing?

Secrets of American Idol-- A great article about how American Idol auditions really work.

Gisele Bundchen has pain free water birth-- I love hearing stories where women prepared and had a wonderful natural birth experience. If you know anything about hypnosis and childbirth, you know that it really is possible to do it without the overwhelming pain so many experience.

Herbs 101-- This Saturday I'm going to a free class on herbs, specifically for medicinal use. Check it out if you live in the area and are interested.

Holistic LDS Living Conference-- This conference looks super interesting. I would love to go but it is June 26th which is very, very close to my due date. Chances of me being able to go are slim.

*Added after Ariel's comment*
The Mormon Women Project-- This is really cool! In their own words: "The Mormon Women Project is a continuously expanding digital library of interviews with Latter-day Saint women from around the world." Lots of inspiring stuff here, ladies.

I think that's enough for now. Enjoy!

it's my birthday and I'll pose if I want to

I am 27 years old today. That is sounding dangerously close to 30. I'm not even sure why I care. My husband is 32 and I have many friends who are in their 30s but for me to be 3 years away from 30 seems so strange. I think in my head I'm still 23. For years before that I was 17 in my head. I guess my mind will catch up to actual time eventually. Maybe.

So I'm also 18 weeks along now. I saw my midwife yesterday and we got to see our little babe again. He or she is getting big! The baby now has these really long skinny legs. We go for the big ultrasound on February 9th and will hopefully be able to tell the gender. I'm ready to be able to call this baby he or she. We have boys named picked out but aren't decided on a girl's name.

I busted out the maternity jeans today for the first time. They don't really stay up but we went to an Indian buffet for lunch and I wanted my belly to have ample room so I could stuff my face. It was gooood. Oh and did you notice I actually did my hair today? That is a very rare occasion these days. It just takes too long to blow dry and straighten. I can't believe I used to do that nearly every day with even longer hair.

It's been a good birthday. I got to take a nap and Jared has been really sweet. He's changed all of Asher's poopy diapers today. :-) That is love.

Just in case there are any of you out there not reading Bloom and Progressive Pioneer, I'm here to tell you again that you should. Amy has a great interview over on Bloom today about simplicity. So many great things to think about it. Simplicity is definitely one of my goals for 2010.

I'm really lucky to be able to call these wonderful women my friends.

more of my hazel-eyed boy

Asher has really cool eyes. They have always been really dark and over the 18 months of his life have gone from newborn blue to navy blue to blue with a touch of goldish brown to their current hazel mixture of brown and gray-blue. Most people think they are brown when they just glance at him because his eyes are so dark, but I assure you the gray-blue is still there on the outside. And then in true hazel fashion, sometimes they look quite green. I keep thinking the brown is going to take over completely, but it hasn't happened yet. We shall see. They've pretty much stayed as is for awhile now.

How precious is this face?

Not that I'm biased or anything.