mind over body, oprah, dance, movies

First of all, how crazy is this? In a study of hotel workers, 4 weeks after they were educated on how their duties counted toward their exercise needs, they saw a drop in weight and blood pressure -- despite no changes in overall activity levels!

So I can think myself slimmer? I like the sound of that!

In other crazy news, Oprah made 260 million big ones from June 2006 to June 2007! Wowza!

Anyway, aren't you glad it's Friday? After my first week as a workin' girl again, I'm SO happy it's almost the weekend! And tonight, Jared and I are going on a hot date! I'm so excited because we are going to see this...

"Asia's leading contemporary dance theatre" -- Cloud Gate Dance Theatre of Taiwan

Schooled in martial arts, meditation, Chinese opera movement, modern dance and ballet, Cloud Gate performs a rich repertoire rooted in Asian myths and folklore and infused with a contemporary universality.

Just one of the perks to being at a University.

Lastly I want to leave you with a couple movie recommendations to tempt you this weekend. These are two movies I've seen in the past month or so and they are both great. And definitely NOT R-rated. :-) Check 'em out:

Stardust is still in the theater in a lot of places I think. Really fun and different with a good story, good characters, a love story and adventure. Oops, I thought it was PG but it's actually PG-13. However, I do think it is appropriate for kids a little younger than that. We really liked it.

The Ultimate Gift is a rental. This one has a great message that leaves you feeling like there is good in the world and anyone is capable of change. At the beginning I thought it was a little after school specialish, but it all came together well. And this is definitely PG!

Enjoy! Hope you all have fantabulous weekends!

follow up

I decided that instead of putting all this in a comment, I would just comment on your comments to the movie post in another post. Got it? :-) And this way I can save it and write when I get a minute.

I really want to thank everyone again for reading my lengthy post and for your comments. I enjoy these types of discussions, especially when everyone is respectful of each other. I feel that was the case here, and I greatly appreciate that. I knew I would probably be in the minority with my views on this, and I'm grateful for how open-minded you all were while still expressing your differing opinions. In case anyone was worried, I was not in the least offended by any of the comments.

Now for some specific responses:

Kayli: I appreciate what you said about keeping things in perspective. That at the end of the day what does it matter if we miss a movie or two? I think remembering that can help us make better movie choices. I also do really appreciate the artistry in film and it's ability to inform, so I will probably continue to walk the line here.

Rachael: On obedience, I hear what you are saying and I think one will definitely be blessed for obedience with or without questioning. But on the other hand, I think it's also good to understand why we do things. And to understand the Spirit of the law. I also think that the Gospel is bigger than "the rules" and it's important for some to think about things more. I think one can be blessed either way. There are many types of people in the Church.

Suzy: I really appreciate that you brought up your "sensitivity" to certain material. I think that it is really important to be self-aware in this area. Movies are a powerful form of media and can certainly get things stuck in our heads, so to say, both good and bad. I think it's important to have respect for its influential power.

'Mom': Thank you for commenting. It's fun to know different people are reading my blog! I appreciate the insight of one who has lived more life than me and raised children. And yes, I do agree that part of sustaining our leaders is heeding their counsel.

Anonymous: Thanks for that quote! I actually was trying to find it and couldn't. One could certainly argue with me on this, but I do think that we have to take into account that this was 20 years ago. The way movies are rated has changed. (Also remember that foreign movies don't have American ratings.) So I still feel good about my decision to choose movies by more than just ratings. If you notice, the counsel today rarely specifies a rating but more general principles. Although yes, I do think that most R-rated movies fall in the category of movies we should avoid.

Emily: I'm glad you took your time to think about this. I have certainly spent a lot of time thinking about all this the past few days. And I, too, have been really disappointed when a movie looks so good and ends up being R. There are so many stories that can be told without all the smut.

e.g.: I'm so glad that you commented again and clarified what you meant! I apologize for reading more into your comment than you intended. Again, when I said I was watching that movie, I honestly didn't think about how it would appear. (Although my husband says he did when he saw it.) But I don't want to be hypocritical either, so I don't regret putting it there and launching this whole discussion. Your comment obviously did make me think, so thank you for that. I can't help but still feel the sting of judgment a little. But again, my blog is public and therefore I am willing to take the comments people leave.

Autumn: Wow, that is so crazy and sad that you have seen so much heartache firsthand. I agree that pornography is absolutely one of Satan's GREATEST tools. It has sunk into our culture and infiltrated everything. I am also not a fan of graphic sex scenes. I think that filmmakers should practice subtlety! We all have imaginations and can understand what's going on without being shown every detail. What I'm thinking about right now is, what effect does immoral behavior portrayed in movies (i.e. premarital sex) have on us even if it isn't explicitly shown? This is usually the case in movies. I can think of only a few instances where the "sex scene" in the movie was between married partners. But that is a commentary on our society. There just plain aren't that many people anymore who wait until marriage.

Several of you recommended screen it.com. Jared also recommends kids-in-mind.com. You don't have to be a member for it. These are good to find out what exactly is in the movie. Although, does anyone else ever feel that reading everything is almost as bad as seeing it? I've just noticed that on a couple movies I've seen they explicitly describe things I barely remember because I either didn't notice them or they were so brief I didn't realize what was going on. Anyway, I do think these sites are very useful tools for the most part.

Thanks again for all those who participated in my little discussion. I'd love to hear any more thoughts you all have. I do have a couple really good movie recommendations I am going to write about soon. Great stories and rated PG!!! So stay tuned for those!

the R-rated post

This post is going to deal with a controversial subject. (Just thought I'd get that out there.) It's not controversial to most of the world but it certainly is among those of us who profess to belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. And so before I even begin, I ask all of you to read this with open minds and to withhold judgments as much as possible. My intention here is to open a dialogue and to share my thoughts on the subject of movie ratings and movie choices.

For those reading who are not Mormon, let me give you some perspective on why this can be a controversial topic. Leaders of the LDS church have cautioned its members, and rightly so, to be very careful about what media we allow in our lives. More specifically they have cautioned us against watching R-rated movies. Many members of the LDS Church live by the rule that they never watch R-rated movies. I, however, do not live by this rule.

I am writing this post because this subject has been on my mind lately for a couple of reasons. First, I have been watching a lot of movies lately (thanks to Netflix) with a variety of ratings. I have noticed how ratings often tell us little about what is actually in the film. More on that in a bit. Secondly, a week or so ago I wrote a little post saying that my husband and I had gone to the temple (the most sacred place for Latter-day Saints to worship and make covenants) in the morning and that that night we were going to watch Shopgirl, which happens to be rated R. I didn't make an issue of this, in fact, I didn't even think about it. I was just telling about my day. The next day, however, someone (I don't know who he/she is) left this comment:

"Hmm...temple in the morning, rated-R movie at night. Interesting."

Perhaps I am misinterpreting this, but it seems to me that this person is implying that we are hypocrites for attending the temple and watching this movie in the same day. Or perhaps that because we watch some movies that are rated R we should not be worthy to attend the temple. How judgmental!

Now before I go any further, I want to make something very clear. I am not writing this post to try to convince everyone to make the same choices I do. I have A LOT of respect for people who choose not to watch movies rated R or PG-13. I see the wisdom in this choice. What I have a problem with are people who look down at those who have chosen otherwise, at people who unfairly judge those who look beyond the rating and try to make an informed decision about what we watch.

Because the thing is, the American ratings system is far from perfect. The movie that Jared and I watched last Friday called Shopgirl is rated R. It is definitely a movie for an adult audience. It is not however, some graphic, satanic movie. It is melancholy and sweet and sad and real. It is about adults in adult situations. Adults who have sex (very little is shown) and adults who make some poor choices and some good choices. There is some very brief nudity. You do see Claire Danes nude from behind. But let me remind you that we saw more in the PG-13 Titanic. There was very little swearing and the f-word was never used. When it was over, I was actually surprised it was rated R, except for that it was very much a movie targeted at an audience over 17. Most teenagers would have been very bored.

Jared and I really liked it. I had read the novella by Steve Martin that the movie is based on and enjoyed that. I knew what this movie was about. I think the story is quite realistic and interesting, albeit very quiet and slow at times. The characters grow and learn and develop and become better people by the end. The movie helped me appreciate my life and my husband and made me grateful for the love and friendship we share. I do not at all regret watching it.

I can't say that about every movie I've ever watched. I have definitely made some poor choices in the past. As a teenager I certainly watched a few movies that didn't leave me at all the better for it. During my college years, I really tried to stay away from rated R movies. I watched very few. But as I've grown and matured, I have softened my views. I try to approach my movie watching very maturely and inform myself about the movie before watching it. (Our favorite reviewer is the Movie Mom She is so smart and funny with her reviews, and she also generally explains why the movie received its rating and provides discussion points for families.)

I know of people who only watch movies that they'd feel comfortable letting their children watch. I respect that decision whole-heartedly. But I prefer to live by the guideline to avoid movies I wouldn't want my children watching as adults. I really enjoy film as an art form. I think films can be very powerful teachers. They can take us to places we could never go. They show us worlds we'd never see otherwise. They inform us about people's lives, giving us a glimpse into what other's think and feel. Perhaps even giving us a taste of empathy.

Real life is rated R. Real life isn't always pretty and happy and nice. Real life has war and sex and swearing and abusers and bad people and good people too. Sometimes in order to tell a story honestly you have to include things that will give the film an R rating, which means it is not appropriate for children. But I am not a child. And sometimes it's good to see the reality of life.

Of course I believe in limits. I don't have to see every explicit detail to understand what's going on. And there have been times when I have been very disappointed in filmmakers because they have included graphic content that did not advance the story whatsoever. I would love to see that practice stopped. I also freely use my fast forward button when watching movies at home to skip over such content. (I don't remember the last time I saw an R-rated movie in the theater.) There are also A LOT of R-rated movies that I choose not to watch, and PG-13 ones for that matter. That is my choice, and I don't condemn those who watch more than me.

I guess the point I am trying to make with all this is that we each have the freedom to choose for ourselves, and I think we should be open-minded enough to allow each other that freedom without making judgments on how good a person they are. I also think we should look beyond ratings. There are plenty of PG-13 movies out there that I don't want to watch and some R movies that I do. I wonder if I had said we were watching some raunchy PG-13 rated comedy last Friday if the aforementioned person would have left their comment.

So what are your thoughts on movie ratings? Why do you watch or don't watch certain movies? What resources do you use to make informed choices?

new shoes

I finally gave into the Crocs craze and got me a pair. Only these aren't the clogs that so many of you know and love. These aren't even the Mary Janes that I thought I would get. These are called the Alice. And they are so cute, so comfortable, so un-Crocsy that I even wore them to Church! They are my new favorite everyday shoes.

my answer

First, I want to say I have really enjoyed reading everyone's answers to the question I posted yesterday. And I'd definitely love to hear more from those who haven't answered. (hint, hint) I love discussions! And I love hearing about all those wonderful people out there in your lives!

I think this can be a really difficult question to answer because it's so easy to see how everything good about those we love benefits us in some way. So I guess it's more about appreciating the ways we are different from each other, because it's really easy to love those things/people that are like us and harder to love and appreciate what is different unless it obviously affects us in a positive way.

If you scroll down, you will see that my darling husband posted his answer to my question. (In his first ever blog post!) And now I will try to do the same.

Jared and I do have a lot of things in common-- we love to read and eat and talk and watch movies. We share similar values and appreciate the arts. Our love languages are both words and touch. All of these things and more bind us together. I love Jared for all the ways we are alike. And of course for all things he does for me. And the fact that he's hot. And tall. And has great abs. You catch my drift. I also love him for the ways he is different and have nothing to do with me or my physical desires.

So here goes: I love the way he thinks deeply. He looks at life in a very unique way. I don't think he ever just sees the surface level. He's always looking for more. And he questions everything. I love that he doesn't take things at face value.

I love that he is a survivor. Jared has experienced more craziness and drama and tragedy in his 30 years of life than many people do in 80. And he's survived. He's learned more than one lesson the hard way, but he finds the good from it. As he says, he has a very long empathy checklist. Most of what he's experienced I can barely imagine.

I love Jared's innocence. For a man so brilliant and mature in many ways, he can also be so childlike. I love his excitement for simple pleasures. I love the way he savors his food, instead of gulping it down like I tend to do. I love how much he uses his senses and truly enjoys smells and tastes and beauty and touch.

I love Jared's optimism. For someone like him, who studies what he does and thinks the way he does and has experienced all he has, I love that he is still optimistic about the good in the world.

I love my husband very much. For these and many more reasons, lots of them selfish. But it feels good to think about the selfless reasons too. I truly am blessed to be married to this man.

Why I love my Wife (and why I am glad she isn't my clone)

This is Jared, obviously, but I am going to take advantage of the fact that Katrina and I share the same computer and respond to her question with a post, rather than with a comment.

Katrina's question really challenged me on Sunday and caused me to search my heart. I don't doubt the fact that I love her and appreciate her, fervently, intensely. But what do I love in her beyond her love for me or the things we share in common?

I think that the question of what we love that doesn't benefit us is virtually impossible, since every quality and virtue benefits those around us--that is why we seek to be good people! But Katrina's provoking question remains answerable because she didn't ask what we love even though it doesn't benefit us, she asked what we love that isn't attached to ourselves. In other words, we love others because they are like us--we love the "us" in them. We share common values, likes, experiences, and so forth. All this makes sense and is necessary, but loving others for how they are different than us takes a certain level of maturity and spiritual evolution.

So, here goes, and I hope my answer measures up.

The number one reason I love Katrina fails miserably in the "doesn't benefit me" category, and I hope that it isn't too different from me either. I love the way Katrina LOVES, which obviously benefits me. But it is also different than me, too. Katrina's greatest gift is the way she loves people, and I admire her for her encompassing, gentle, consistent love for others. I have joked that the person I end up with has to be amazing because I am so much to take on, and Katrina has excelled in this area. She loves me as I have never been loved before, and my admiration for her overflowed when I saw how she took on taking care of my three children. We are different in many ways, and Katrina loves me for what I am, even in areas she does not share. I have never been loved the way she loves me. I try to learn from her in this area. This is Katrina's greatest gift, which works out nicely because it just so happens it is also the most important trait in all of eternity to acquire. Someone could have every talent and gift and beauty, but without love, it is all worthless. Katrina's genius is in relationships, and next to that genius, nothing else matters. She has allowed her love for me and the accompanying commitment to join my life to change her, and I admire her for it.

I obviously love all the things we share--I love Katrina's passion for food, for good discussions and movies and snuggles. I love how affectionate she is. I love how intelligent and expressive she is (we both were able to make lists of over 100 things we love about each other when we were dating). I love how much she enjoys learning and art and culture. I love how she expresses her artistic abilities and creativity. I am absolutely smitten with her voice, both reading and singing.

So, now to the hard part, differences that I love. Katrina and I harness different emotional complexions. I am intense, passionate, vivid almost to the point of imbalance. Katrina is balanced, consistent, and stark raving sane. I love her for that. I love her healthiness. I love the way she entered my crazy life with open eyes, heart, and soul. These differences complement me. I also love and admire her deep and genuine interest in people, which goes far beyond my native self-centeredness.

And though it isn't the most important thing, I love Katrina's sense of style. I think this counts especially well because though I appreciate it (and do so more because of being with my fashionista wife), it is not something I naturally do. I love how I can actually appreciate "What Not to Wear" because of her. I love how she can make both of us beautiful (and her makeover of me into the "hot professor").

So, that is a bit long, but I hope it answered your question in part, my precious wife. I have never been so happy, and love you more. This answer seems somewhat inadequate; I am grateful I have forever to complete my response.

selfless love

I have several blog posts that are itching to get out of my brain and into the blogosphere, but they will have to wait. Stay tuned. For today, I want to throw out some food for thought. This afternoon, Jared and I have been discussing love. Specifically, love between spouses. And I posed this question to him which I now pose to you: What do you love about your spouse (or anyone very close to you) that is separate from yourself?

There are many reasons why we love people, and I honestly do think that a large portion of these is because it benefits us in some way. The root is in someway selfish. But if you take away all those things, if you remove yourself from the equation, if you look at your best friend as just a person and not your husband/wife, or the father/mother of your children, or the person who cleans your house, or provides for your sustenance, or cooks you delicious meals, etc... what do you see? What do you love? What is it about this person, about who they are in their core, that you love?

That is what we are thinking about today at our house. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the subject and your answer to the question. It can apply to more than just a spouse--your parents, your siblings, your best friend... I'm interested to know what you all love about the people closest to you.

today

This morning we went here:

Then it was off to Costco, where we ate yummy pizza and frozen yogurt for lunch and then hit the aisles with our cart to stock up.

Along with sundry food items, I also got these:

I have been wanting new makeup brushes forever. I ordered some this summer from e.l.f but they ended up being out of stock, so I was super excited to see this delux kit, with case and cleaner for $21.99! I love Costco! Aren't they pretty?

I now have a fully stocked fridge and freezer with such delectables as frozen fruit for smoothies, salmon, sashimi grade tuna steaks, and a huge bag of spinach.

But for dinner tonight we are having this:

Whilst watching this:


In our skivvies. Because we can.

Happy weekend, everyone!

six months

On March 10th, Jared and I became husband and wife. These six months have been filled with a lot of love, tons of fun, millions of kisses, some tears, a few adventures, hundreds of delicious meals, dozens of movies, at least seven plane rides, hours in the car, many snuggles, and laughter every day. We've also taken hundreds of pictures, including ones of ourselves. I think we've gotten quite good at it. So today I give you Jared and Katrina: Six Months in Self-portraits (except one). One of these pictures is not a self-portrait. Can you tell me which it is?

MARCH

St. Petersburg, Florida

APRIL

Carrboro, North Carolina


MAY

Durham, North Carolina

JUNE

Black Hills, South Dakota


JULY

Provo, Utah

AUGUST

White Rock, New Mexico


TODAY!

Home

happy 25th, emily!!!

A little over 20 years ago, I met Emily Anne. We were both four years old, the oldest children to recent University of Utah Medical School graduates, and about to move from Utah to Cleveland, Ohio where our doctor dads would do their residency. I actually don't remember our first meeting. My first memory of Emily is riding our big wheels around my driveway as our families' shared moving van was unpacked. For the next five years, Em and I were the best of friends.

(Unfortunately, this is the only picture I have here of a little Emily. Sorry it's not clearer.)

She was a grade ahead of me in school, and I looked up to her as one a little older and wiser. Emily was even the one who told me where babies came from-- in kindergarten! We walked to school together and played after school. We had sleepovers, or attempted to anyway. If Em came to my house, she was never there when I woke up. She could never last the night away from home, and I always woke up crying because she wasn't there anymore. I think we eventually gave up, and I just always slept over at her house.

Our families spent nearly every holiday together. This picture, judging from the ages of us and our siblings, was our last Christmas Eve in Cleveland in 1991.


In the summer of 1992, my family moved from Cleveland to Zanesville, Ohio, three hours away. Em and I were 9 years old. Her family would move to Oregon two years later, but even though we lived far apart, we always kept in touch. Over the years we saw each other only a few times. One of those times was when we went to EFY together at Ricks College. Check out these awesome pics:


Eventually, Em and I both went to BYU. We never lived together, but we still saw each other. Em is the one who introduced me to the deliciousness of Magleby's Fresh french toast. Yum! Even if we hadn't talked in months, each time we did, it was as if nothing had changed.

I wasn't at all surprised when Em got married at age 20. She was always "boy crazy". ;-) And she was always mature. I was so happy for her that she ended up with Nate. They are so great together. And totally hot!

I remember Em telling me before she was married how much she loved the name Henry. I thought she was kinda crazy, but a couple years later she really did name her adorable boy Henry. And you know what? I like it.


Now Emily lives in Texas and has made quite the name for herself as a blogger. Her writing is fresh and honest and funny and sweet. She captures moments so beautifully with words. I wish I had her talent so I could properly pay tribute to her in this post. I remember how fun her emails always were back in high school. Even then, she was a great writer. And in college she would write me the sweetest "love note" emails full of encouragement and love.

I wish I had more recent pictures of the two of us, but it's been a long time since we've seen each other. I'm so grateful for these blogs that keep us connected. Emily is beautiful and talented and has grown up into such an amazing person, wife, and mother. I'm jealous of all those in Texas who get to hang out with her. Em and I will probably never live near each other again, but I know we will always be friends. It's so rare to find a friend at 4 years old who you know you will never lose. I'm so glad our dads both decided to go to Cleveland. And that our families are still friends. In fact, Em's parents recently visited mine in New Mexico. Mostly, I am grateful to call this amazing, talented, gorgeous, hard-working, kind, thoughtful, [insert other wonderful adjectives here] woman my friend.

I love you, Emily! Happy 25th Birthday!