happy birthday to my missionary brother!

On July 12th, 20 years ago, I got a baby brother. I was 4 1/2 and my sister Lauren was 2. We had just moved from Bountiful, Utah to Shaker Heights, Ohio (a Cleveland suburb) for my dad's surgery residency. To be honest, I don't remember much about the day Michael was born. But I remember he had to stay in the hospital for a week, and I couldn't go visit him. When he did come home, he was little enough to fit in our doll stroller. Lauren and I loved that!

Of all my siblings, Mike and I are probably the least close, if that makes any sense. I think it is a combination of our age difference, gender difference, and just all around personality differences. But Michael's first word was "Cheena"-- translated as "Trina"--my own name. Although at some point he forgot that and started calling me "Weewee". I have no idea why. Perhaps because I made faces like this...


As a toddler, despite being surrounded by girls, he was a boy through and through, always wanting trucks and cars. And especially balls! "Ball" was his second word. (I'm sure "Mama" and "Dada" followed shortly thereafter.)


But beginning at a very early age, Michael's greatest interest was drawing. To my recollection he spent most of the day drawing from the time he could pick up a crayon or pencil. He drew Ninja Turtles and Transformers with amazing ability. Then it was Power Rangers and then Pokemon and Anime. My mom, who has an art degree, was always amazed at his natural ability to draw figures and muscles and to foreshorten limbs. He can also draw pretty much anything from his head, a rare skill, even among talented artists.

Mike is also an excellent guitar player. I'm pretty sure there are 3 or 4 guitars and a keyboard at my parents house. Usually I could never get him to play for me, but his last Christmas at home (2005) he got out the acoustic and played while I sang carols. That is one of my favorite memories.


Mike has always been a bit of a home-body and he doesn't like change. So you can imagine his response when my parents decided to move across the country from Ohio to New Mexico the summer before his senior year! Not too happy. But he did it. And after a few months of sulking, he finally decided New Mexico wasn't that bad of a place. And did stuff like this (he's second from the right)...


Then it was off to BYU...where I think he may have even had some fun.


And then...

the Brasil Goiania Mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints! He left in November right after Thanksgiving straight for the Sao Paulo CTM. Before he left, we both went to the Albuquerque Temple for the first time.

And took some family pictures...


Since he's been in Brazil he hasn't been the best letter (email) writer, but I hear from him every couple weeks. He has learned Portuguese easier than some, but living in a foreign country and learning their culture and language on top of trying to teach them about a religion is far from easy. He's hanging in there. And I've enjoyed his occasional Facebook notes. My brother is quite witty. And apparently quite tall in Brazil...


So Happy Birthday, Mikey!!! Welcome to your 20's--the decade when you get to make all those life-determining decisions! You are in our prayers! I love you!

(I also just remembered Mike's cool "remixed" pictures that he did on photoshop before the mish. He did a bunch of himself and friends, but never did one of me-- punk!) (And the reason I posted this today as opposed to tomorrow is that today is the day Mike gets to check his email.)

my sister the writer

Just wanted to share something my little sister Lauren wrote about a recent car accident she had. I was really moved. (It's on Facebook, so if you aren't signed up you may not be able to read it, but you can create an account very easily.) As you'll be able to tell, Lauren got the writing talent in the family. Here is the link.

And here is an excerpt:






I look down and see the airbags hanging there and their foul, chemically-odored powder is hanging in the air. Then I feel the pain in my face. Nothing specific, just general pain. I touch my face and my nose isn't broken and the blood is so little as to be trifling. I look up and I see the girl and her male passenger to my right.

"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, are you okay?"
"Yeah."

I'm okay, they're okay. Everything's okay. I'm just relieved at this point. Having been in a real car accident, the kind where the aftermath is so bad you don't remember the sound because you're too busy replaying the entire scene over and over in your head. Constantly at first and then daily for weeks. Months. The kind where all four of your passengers have to go to the hospital after being cut out of the car with the jaws of life. The kind where before the ambulances and fire trucks get there you climb out of your window because the door won't open and none of your four passengers will answer you. And you run from window to window trying to get a response but none of them are saying anything. None of them make a sound except for your best friend's 8 year old brother who won't stop screaming but still won't answer you. It's the kind of accident where after the crash the tension just keeps building and building and no crunching or F bombs can bring release.

empty bed

This is what I found this morning when I looked in Grace's bedroom

What I'm wondering is if she meant to sleep on the floor or if she rolled off her bed and just stayed there.

weekend update

First, I'd like to say that this Monday is turning out MUCH better than last. In fact, the grounds crew did not show up this morning to wake me up at 7 a.m. Hooray! They decided to come in the afternoon instead. And Jared came home in-between classes and is right now making me a smoothie! Yum!

We had an excellent weekend. Saturday, as you know, was 7-7-07, and was actually the day that Jared and I originally discussed getting married. Needless to say, we didn't want to wait that long, but decided to have a fun date to mark the occasion. The kids spent the afternoon with their mom, so Jared and I took advantage of the time off and went to the movies. We saw Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. I didn't have super high expectations because I had heard mixed reviews, but it was actually quite good. Despite being 3 hours long, I didn't get bored and thoroughly enjoyed it. And I do confess to getting rather misty-eyed at the end. (So did Jared.)

We then went to dinner at Thai Ruby. If you like Thai food, I highly recommend it. Very excellent and right by BYU campus. It is also more reasonably priced than my other favorite Thai restaurant in Park City. We had the "House Special"--a delicious red curry with tofu, pineapple, lychee, tomatoes, and red and yellow peppers. So fresh and delicious! I want to try making it myself. One of Jared's students was our waitress and she hooked us up with a free dessert--a delicious fresh mango on sweet sticky rice. We were stuffed!

Sunday, we all got to sleep in. I must say having Church at 1 o'clock doesn't bother me in the summer, especially since we have the kids. We get to enjoy a leisurely morning. We are not attending the Wymount ward. We went a couple times and Olivia really didn't like it because there weren't very many kids. So we decided to attend the non-BYU ward by us. And we all love it so much more! It is probably one of the best family wards I've been to since my days in Zanesville. There is a really good variety of people in the ward--old and young and in-between. And everyone has been so welcoming. We also have two very well known Mormon scholars in the ward-- Truman Madsen (he teaches Sunday School!) and Susan Easton Black!

Sunday evening, we went to Jared's aunt and uncle's house. All their kids are in town so we went to see everyone. And I got to see my good friend Rachel, who just happens to be married to Jared's cousin, Spencer!

Thank you for having everyone over! We all had so much fun! Safe traveling to everyone this week who must return home!

what's in a (utah) name?

Sometime during college at BYU I was introduced (pretty sure by an ex-boyfriend) to this most hilarious website: Utah Baby Namer Anyone who has ever spent any significant amount of time in Utah will understand just how hilariously true these names are. And for those who haven't lived in Utah, believe me, you'll think it's funny too. I find it vastly entertaining to just browse through the list of boys and girls names, but for a quick introduction to the absurdity of many of these names check out the "Cream of the Crop" link on the main page. And yes, the creators of the site have confirmed all of these names as legitimate.

Here is a sample of some of my personal favorites (please don't be offended if your name or that of a loved one shows up here):

Boys:

BeVan
Canteen
Denim Levi
Golden Noble
Helamans Warrior
Iron Rod
Kay C
LaRoyd
NaLa'DeLuhRay
Nephi Courage
Pontiac
Q
Slaughter
Stockton Malone
TrinityMichaelJosef
Welcome Exile
Zaragrunudgeyon

Girls:

Abcde
Allora LaLovi
Barbie-De
Celestial Starr
Christmas Contada
Cumorah Hill
DaLinda LaDale
Desdedididawn
Fawn-Dew
Heavenly Melanie
Hi-D
Jeopardee
Justa Cowgirl
Kaysional Tempest
LaDonnaJosephrania
Liahonna
Lovie Angel
Marandastarr
Miracles Precious One
Mormon Beauty
Nudity
Rhyan K'Ci
Serenity-Tabitha-Ann
Shamberlee
Sin'D
Thankful Flood
Utahana
Zion Anakin

So tell me.... what's your favorite Utah (or other crazy) baby name?

fourth festivities

We had a pretty fun and relaxing 4th of July. We all slept in and then went swimming after lunch, and then came home and had dinner. We watched the fireworks from the lawn in front of the Provo Temple. And with the exception of some impatient whining during the last 30 minutes before it began, good times were had by all.

Jared got a little lesson planning in.

Grace pretended to read my book.

Olivia wouldn't get in the picture with us...

so Jared took one of her by herself.
And of course...finally...fireworks!

(We tried out the fireworks feature on the camera, but I think I moved too much on some. Although I think they look cool.)

just another manic monday

I've decided to hate Mondays. Many of you may be thinking, "Duh! Everyone hates Mondays!" But I have never really had a pure hatred of Monday until yesterday. You see, in our quad of Wymount Terrace, Monday is the day the BYU grounds crew comes and mows the lawn and weed whacks the h-e-double-hockey-sticks out of this place. And they start at approximately 7:30 a.m.!!! To make matters worse, there is no air conditioning in this lovely cinder block palace, so to avoid heat stroke, the windows are left open all night to let in the cool desert breeze. Hence, the sound of the weed whacker outside my window at 7:40 in the morning is loud enough to rouse a hibernating bear.

Needless to say, yesterday did not start out well and only seemed to get worse. I just felt like I was in a funk all day long. I HATE super hot days and yesterday it was over 100 degrees. That's way too hot to go outside for me and the kids' few attempts didn't last long either, so pretty much we spent most of the day stuck inside (fortunately this cinder block palace does stay pretty cool, even in 100 degree weather).

One highlight of the day was the birthday package that arrived from my mother for Isaac. It was full of fun art supplies, camdy, and a snorkle! The art supplies kept the kids busy for much of the day. And in the afternoon, I didn't feel too guilty when I let them watch about two hours (!) of PBS.

But as for me, I felt bored and restless and irritable and by 5:00 the attack of the killer headache was upon me. I tried ignoring it, but by 6 I succumbed and took some Tylenol. Excedrin is my usual headache drug of choice, but I really didn't want to be up half the night due to it's caffeine content. So I took Tylenol and hoped for the best. After lying down I attempted to make dinner, but that ended with me in painful tears. Jared held me while I cried during which we overheard this conversation:

Isaac: "Mummy isn't feeling well." (Mummy is the new name we decided on.)
Grace: "I heard her crying and Daddy was protecting her."

How sweet is that?

Skipping ahead, I did manage to get up and eat dinner and even teach Family Home Evening. But soon the headache reared it's ugly head again and back to bed I went with more tears. Jared cleaned up the kitchen, did the laundry, and even had to go back to the store at 11:00 because we were out of toilet paper! And this whole time, I just felt guilty. I felt like a horrible wife and Mummy!

Plus, while Jared was at the store I heard Olivia say this to Isaac: "It used to be that Katrina was nicer than Daddy, but now Daddy is nicer than Katrina."

Oh dear! Yeah, that's because I'm with you ALL DAY LONG and have to do the majority of the disciplining right now. I didn't actually say that, and I didn't go out there again and tell them to be quiet and go to sleep for the fifth time. I let their Dad do that when he came home.

Fortunately, Monday ended. I went to sleep and when I woke up this morning my headache was gone. And today I get to go spend some time with a few of my fellow Iversons whom I haven't seen since my wedding or longer. Thank goodness for friends! And thank goodness for this blog that lets me vent. And to all of you who read it. I promise to have a happier post tomorrow!

i love my husband

to the mother of my children,

From: Jared

Sent: Fri 6/29/07 8:08 PM

To: Katrina

My precious partner,

I emailed you to this email because I know you check it. My heart is so full right now, after first reading your "m" word post and then talking to the kids about what to call you. Grace once again insisted she wants to call you "mommy," and I suggested "imma" (Hebrew) or "mummy" for Isaac and Olivia. You make a good point that with all you do for them, it is only fitting that you have a special name.

One funny little thing--Grace was saying something about us being here and added, "because Mommy doesn't belong here!" I am so grateful that we have created a space for these children, a space where we can nurture stability and boundaries saturated with love. You fulfill my dreams, my beautiful angel. Thank you for being that angel, that messenger of God who came into my life and made me whole--more complete than I have ever been.

I like the double meaning of the subject--the obvious, that we will have beautiful children together whom we will love and raise together, children who will weld us even more closely together, and the fact that you are becoming more and more of a mother to my children, my dear friends whom I love and care so much for. I have ached that we will have a complete family and they never will, but this summer has already shown me that they too can bask in the fullness of our love.

I love you more, my goddess.

Yours forever,

Jared


Isn't that a most lovely email? Last night I left right after Jared got home from work to go the temple with my friend Jennifer. After a long a session, we got dinner and I didn't get home until about 11 o'clock. And this is what was waiting for me! Besides Jared and the kids all still awake! This email totally got me all misty-eyed. My husband is so good with words. I have hundreds of beautiful emails from him, but after the past two weeks with the kids, this one meant so very much to me. I wanted to share. Thank you, Jared. I love you!

the 'm' word

Being a step-parent presents an interesting question: What do the kids call me? While Jared and I were dating and engaged, they called me appropriately "Katrina". I never thought much of it. That's my name, of course that is how they would address me. But now that Jared and I are married and the kids are living with us, the situation is a little different. I am more than just a friend. I am a parent. And every day our relationships as parent and children deepen and strengthen. So it seems, the name they call me should reflect that. But where does that leave us? They already have a mom whom they call "Mommy".

I have thought about this quite a bit, wondering how this would develop. A while ago I read an article by a step-mom who suggested coming up with a special name for the step-children to call you. This shows the uniqueness and significance of the relationship. Here's how they handled it.

"When [my step-son began calling me "Mommy"], emotions ran very high. My stepson's biological mother felt threatened and thought she was losing her son's affections. Steven, my stepson, sensed his mother's feelings and became very upset each time he "slipped" and referred to me as "Mommy" in front of her. So, I asked Steven to think of a name just for me. Being four-years-old at the time, he decided to add an "a" to the end of my name [Jann] and call me "Jana." It's been more that five years now, and Steven continues to use that special name for me. Every time I hear it, I'm reminded of the close relationship that Steven and I have. "

This issue came up in our house last week. The kids do occasionally slip and call me Mommy, but its more in the way I slip and sometimes call Grace "Olivia" or vice versa. One day, when Isaac did this, Olivia said, "Why don't you call her 'step-mom'." Jared and I kinda laughed at that and said, no that's not really a name you use that way. Later, I told Jared about the aforementioned article, but it wasn't until last night that we talked to the kids about it. We were in the car when it came up. I asked them if they'd like to think of a special name to call me since I'm their step-mom. There were lots of silly answers from Grace and Isaac, mostly the names of animals. Jared suggested "Kiki", a nickname Jared's brother came up with. But Olivia said no, since Uncle Mike already calls me that. Then Grace said, "I want to call you Mommy!" We told her if she really wants to she can.

At home, she asked again if she could call me "Mommy". Again, we told her if she wants to she can. After brushing her teeth, she gave me a hug and said, "Goodnight, Mommy." Isaac also said "I love you, Mommy" in a trying it out sorta way. Olivia didn't really say anything about this one way or the other.

I don't know how this will play out. I'm not expecting them to all call me "Mommy". In fact, I'll be surprised if they do. I could definitely see Grace getting used to and even Isaac, but I don't know about Olivia. And it seems unlikely that the other two would call me "Mom" if Olivia doesn't. But again, I have no idea. I'm not going to press the issue. I'll let them take the lead. And I have no idea how their mother would feel about this. But I admit, it does feel nice to be called "Mommy". There's just something magical in that name.

So I ask all of you.... Any ideas for alternative names? What are your thoughts on this? Do you know of anyone who has dealt with this issue?

good read: Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

During every Family Vacation there is an obligatory trip to the nearest bookstore. This most recent trip, we visited a little place in Brainerd, Minnesota. There I saw Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides (author of The Virgin Suicides). My sister had heard good things about it and as you can see by the cover, it won the Pulitzer Prize, so I flipped it open and read the first sentence:

I was born twice: first, as a baby girl, on a remarkably smogless Detroit day in January of 1960; and then again, as a teenage boy, in an emergency room near Potoskey, Michigan, in August of 1974.

How's that for an attention grabber?! I was hooked and knew I had to keep reading.

Now, something you probably don't know about me is that I am pretty intrigued by gender identity issues. I have watched several documentaries and television shows on transgendered people (those who feel they were born into the wrong body) and read whatever articles I come across as well. Along these same lines, I'm also mildly fascinated with hermaphroditism. And that is what this book is actually about. The main character is a hermaphrodite, in this case, a genetic XY male who appears as a baby to have female genitalia. In fact, nobody knows Callie is actually a boy until she is 14.

The story really begins with Cal's grandparents--Greek immigrants who come to the US from Turkey in the 1920's. Their story, as well as Cal's parent's is very important to why Call is who he is. The author does an amazing job weaving the past and present together. The writing is descriptive without being boring. Eugenides is so good in fact that I wondered how he could write this without being a hermaphrodite himself. (He's not.) He takes the story of a girl who grows up to be a man and shows us how much Cal is like all of us. And how our family histories are part of who we are, whether we like it or not.

This book also happens to be Oprah's pick for the summer. I didn't realize that until after I read it, but I can definitely see why she chose it. It is at times heartbreaking, often funny, and full of poignant moments. This is a coming of age story like none I've ever read before. And totally deserving of the Pulitzer. I highly recommend it.